The Conception and Retention of Love

¶ … Pursuit of Love: Personal Reflection on Love

The notion of love has taken the widest angle of all social activities with different disciplines trying to define love and even give guidelines to achieving the ultimate love situation. I have seen scientific approaches proposed, social aspects of love, religious approaches, psychological explanations and many more disciplines attempting to explain what love is and how it can be achieved. I have come across love experts who pride in counselling partners towards achieving everlasting happiness, but still the void lingers in within of how practical it is to maintain and retain a true love and what actins by the other partner can constitute to acts of hate or lack of love, or is it that love blinds us so much that one cannot distinguish hateful actions from love and sees all actions as love related. This is a worrying concept since I have experienced friends who have been emotionally abused by their men and some even physically abused but after a short while they carry on with the relationship despite nothing much having changed, except the one more redundant confession by the man to be loving the lady they just beat up or insulted publicly.

As a lady in college, I have gone through my fair share of troubles with men, some of whom I have dated for a few months and others for a year and on, and yet others whom I just considered to be friends I loved and yet they presumed they could be the man in my heart and start a relationship. All these at one point confessed love to me, quite different situations yet tied together by the concept of love.

It is important to say from the onset, that though not proud of the act, I have cheated on my man at one point but it happened at appoint where I felt he no longer loved me despite him saying the same all through. It opened my eyes to the fact that love is not only said but must be acted out and be felt by the recipient. If the man says he loves me, yet does not act like he does, or I do not feel the he does, then to me the love is dead. This sounds egoistic but it is the reality in the current situation. Apparently fellow lady friends who witnessed what the man used to do kept assuring me that he loved me from what they saw, however, that did not resound with my thinking well. that is how complex the notion of love is. This is the same man whom I so deeply loved at one point and gave my time and life to him, yet at some point I grew so dethatched from him that I even cheated on him.