Discovery and analysis of a two thousand year old hoard

Hoard

There are several types of archaeological errors. One of them is making assumptions, sometimes based on broad misconceptions about the culture, or sometimes based on projecting one's own culture onto another. Bias also emerges, for example in this report where early determinations color the researchers latter findings (Beck & Jones, 1989). One such misconception/assumption in this report derives from a copying error, one that has led to a critical misunderstanding of the context of the source material, leading the researcher 2000 years later to have a significant misunderstanding about American life as a base assumption (Eerkens & Lipo, 2005). This report also contains problems with analogy that lead to a gross misinterpretation (Wylie, 1988).

At the site of this random apocalyptic disaster we found a coin hoard of ten coins. They were scattered around a relatively small area where there appears to be the foundations indicating a dwelling. The coins indicate some interesting findings. The coins will be described in the course of this paper, indicating details about the coins and their surroundings. The first coin we found was ten cent piece, minted in 2007, from the United States. This coin was found near a metal exoskeleton in the shape of what was probably a fold-out bed. We know from our learning of that era that such pieces of furniture were common. The dime itself is unremarkable, with only a little bit of wear for a coin that old. The setting indicates that the fold-out bed was probably in use. The coin probably fell out of a pocket into the cushions of the bed. I suspect that the presence of the fold-out bed indicates that multiple persons occupy this dwelling, perhaps a cousin or some other acquaintance. We know from political texts of the era that 47% of the people in America at the time were freeloaders, and the presence of a coin near a sleeping device is probably evidence of such a freeloader occupying the residence. This also implies that the other resident was a hard-working individual and a job creator, since they were usually the ones being freeloaded off of.

The second coin we found was a penny, a one cent piece, in poor condition and minted in 1997. This was found in the area near what looks like pipes for toilet infrastructure. The toilet area of a dwelling was not normally used as storage for coins. From this we can surmise that the person occupying the dwelling was some sort of slob, with items around the dwelling in a haphazard pattern rather than the neat, orderly dwelling arrangement patterns we might have expected from our excavation of the IKEA site.

The third coin was nearby, and another penny. This specimen was somewhat damaged, and was minted in 2010. This specimen was unusual in that it bore a maple leaf and an image of someone identified as Queen Elizabeth II on the reverse side. The penny originated from Canada, which was a large empire to the north. The large number of Canadian coins found in the area of this site, including those of ten cent and twenty-five cent denominations as well as one-cent, indicates that the people of this area were probably world travelers. In an empire as large as the United States of America, traveling to a foreign land probably indicated that the person had significant amounts of wealth and disposable time. We know from the 2007 ten cent piece that this person was of significant wealth, and having evidence of world travel confirms this. Another theory is that the freeloader is in fact a captured Canadian slave, and the coin originated with that unfortunate person. Whether Americans truly ended slavery during their 19th century Civil War is still a matter of contention among archaeologists.

The fourth specimen is an unusual piece. It has no date of minting on it. It is around the size of a typical twenty-five cent piece of the era, but is inscribed with the image of a stylized rodent. The marking indicate that this coin originated in the nation of Chuck-E-Cheese. We are unsure of the origins of this nation, but its people who migrated to the United States built temples, one of which have been uncovered to this point in the country. The rodent on the coin is likely a deity, not unlike the human-animal deity hybrids of pharaohonic Egypt. Sites with ample amounts of these coins were known to have strong evidence of the presence of children. We suspect that these Chuck-E-Cheese temples were used for worship of the rodent god and we suspect also child sacrifice at these sites. Finding this coin at this site is perhaps an indication that the owner of this dwelling either was a member of the Chuck-E-Cheese cult or had escaped from one of the temples and later survived into adulthood.

The fifth specimen is a five cent piece from the United States of America. This piece is in abundance in the area, and this specimen is unexceptional. It was found in the main sleeping area of the dwelling. The sixth specimen was found near to the fifth. This specimen appears to be a one-cent piece, but is flat and nearly featureless. This type of damage is unusual, in that it is so severe it could not have been made by a human. It is possible that the damage was caused by the coin being run over by something very heavy moving at a high rate of speed. There are transportation hubs nearby, including a railway station and an airport. Perhaps this coin was inadvertently left on the runway and an airplane landed on it?

The seventh specimen is a twenty-five cent piece. These pieces were quite common. It was found in the sleeping room of the dwelling. These common pieces appear to have been manufactured in mass quantities. We know that American society had significant wealth in order to develop means of mass production of money. That a specimen of this type is so common we pay it little attention in our studies tells us something about this society's great wealthy, that is could produce money on this scale.

The eighth specimen is a one-dollar piece. This piece is the highest-known value of a coin in ancient America. Such pieces are far more unusual than smaller denominations. We surmise that individuals in possession of these high value coins were probably among the wealthiest Americans, since dollar coins are so uncommon. This person must have been one of significant wealth, perhaps a successful local merchant or tradesperson.

The ninth and tenth specimens were found near broken glass, indicating that perhaps they and others were housed in a small jar. As the evidence thus far suggests this was a person of wealth, finding a rich store of wealth such as this is not surprising. The use of glass jars was common, despite their relative ineffectiveness at disguising or protecting the contents of the jar. So have such wealth on open display is indicative of several things about American society. The first is that the wealthy class of this society had tremendous vanity, as such displays of wealth like coin jars was commonplace. The lack of security protections afforded this tremendous collection of coins also indicates that this society had very little crime. Normally, wealth should be protected, but clearly the need to protect one's wealth was not necessary in American society. American culture must have emphasized this safety, because even the presence of one of America's many freeloaders did not deter this person from openly displaying his or her wealth.