Gay Marriage on Children There

¶ … Gay Marriage on Children

There are by conservative estimates anywhere from six to fourteen million children living in gay and lesbian homes (Patterson, "Children of lesbian," 1026). Gay marriage is a recent phenomenon and is still not legal in many states. There is however, a general view that children who are raised in homosexual families are at a disadvantage when compared to heterosexual families. At present, the empirical evidence does not support this view. The development of children in lesbian and gay marriages is the same as for children in heterosexual marriages (Patterson, "Children of Lesbian," 1025). Gay marriage has no detrimental effect on children.

Gay marriage is not a prevalent relationship type. Most state have not legalized gay marriage and the furor surrounding gay marriage is very pervasive. Consequently, the quantum of research done on gay marriage is limited. Thus, for the purposes of this essay while the focus will be on gay marriages, generous consideration will be given to other types of gay and lesbian unions where there are children. The legitimization of gay unions through the legal process has a limited influence on the home conditions under which children live. It is therefore reasonable to presume that civil unions and cohabiting gay couples are adequate approximations for gay marriages.

A child's home environment has a significant impact on the development of the child (Stevens Jr. 233). The homes that result from gay marriages are often presented as being inferior to heterosexual homes. The underlying theory suggests that parental influences hold a primary place in the psychological and social development of the child. The homes created through gay marriage, brings together persons of the same sex. This same sex arrangement should produce differences in the environment of the home that are significant enough to be observed in the development of the child.

There is a concern that the same sex nature of the parental unit will be inadequate to provide the guidance and direction a child needs. Kurdek examined the question of the equivalence of gay marriage to heterosexual marriage. Using cohabiting lesbian and gay couples Kurdek determined that in most cases gay couples are very much like heterosexual married couples and in some instances have better relationships (88). The unions are equivalent in terms of the qualitative experiences provided in the home. The homes of gay couples however, demonstrated greater egalitarian behaviors as it related to household chores. This is a positive difference as the children in these homes may be more likely to share responsibilities more equitably.

There is a perspective that the child will experience disturbances in their sexual development and sexual identity. There are three areas that may be affected firstly the child's gender identity, which is concerned with the individual's capacity to self-identify as male or female. Secondly, gender-role behaviors, the set of roles, activities, employment options, and the manner in which they are culturally categorized as predominantly for males or females. The final element is sexual orientation, which is the choice made by the individual relating to sexual partners (Patterson 1030).

In each of the identified areas, children from gay marriages are comparable to children from heterosexual marriages. In addition, there is no evidence that the children have any special difficulties that might be linked to growing up in gay homes. The children's gender identity is normal, males self-identify as males and the same obtains for females. In the gender-role arena, the children displayed behaviors equally consistent with their heterosexual peers. Lesbian mothers were of the view that the peers of their had a greater influence over the roles adopted by their children that the mothers themselves.

Patterson "Family relationship" raises the concern shared by some theorist that children in gay marriages will be less psychologically healthy, more prone to mental challenges, have adjustment problems and subsequent behavioral problems, than children raised in heterosexual homes (1060). This question of the psychological health of children is disseminated through the media and other avenues as a fact. This position is based on the same sex argument (Allen and Demo 119). This argument posits that for healthy development a child needs to have a parent of the same sex to identify with. So that in same sex unions where there are children depending on the sex of the child will struggle to gain a healthy concept of self. In addition to that dynamic, there is the influence of the prevailing hostile social climate on gay families. While the theories have existed for some time, finding corroborating evidence is problematic as the research suggests a different path.

Pawelski et al. suggests that children raised in gay homes may experience isolation, peer ridicule, harassment, and depression. They also posit that these children have a higher propensity to consider suicide and attempt suicide. This internal confusion may be exacerbated by the absence of support groups and structures to assist in reducing the impact of this psychological upheaval. As there are sustained efforts to limit the establishment of groups considered "gay- straight alliances" (Pawelski et al.). This seems to suggest that there are serious psychological problems for children living in these arrangements.

This position is however countered by the work of Golombok et al. cited in (Patterson 1032) where they demonstrate that children from lesbian homes do not score lower than children from different sex homes on psychological tests. Daughters from same sex families scored higher on a well-being test than daughters from different sex families (1032). In total, the research suggests that at present children from same sex unions do not experience any significant psychological problems. Any problems observed are similar in both qualitative and quantitative terms to different sex families.

While individual homes may not be specifically affected. It is important to note that the nationwide political and religious debate over same-gender marriage has intensified. The result is the exacerbation of an already unstable climate for gay men and lesbians in our society. The lack of societal tolerance, acceptance, and support that gay and lesbian individuals, couples, and their children experience can and does affect their psychosocial and physical health and safety.

Meezan and Rauch in examining the research on gay and lesbian marriages posit that children who are raised by gay and lesbian parents are doing as well as so called normal children (97). It should be noted however, that much of the research involves very small sample sizes and it is uncertain that they represent the wider population of married gay persons with children. The challenge is that "we do not know how the normative child in a same sex family compares to other children" (Meezan and Rauch 104). This impediment is not sufficient to inviolate the substantive elements of the research.