Joy of Love and Marriage

Joy of Love and Marriage

Small things are lots of fun. Hence, small things can be disaster too. It's a very common situation in one's marriage life that one of the couple gets bored just because of minor matters. Boredom is intoxicating. No, it is not about boredom to one's being, it's the boredom when the lawn gets too high to ignore of cutting, when pets get too many (for another intensive and uncontrollable breeding season) to feed, when the family's favorite barbershop closes by and moves its location fifteen miles farther, then everyone will argue, "Somebody's got to drive us there, and who will that be?"

People in fact cannot neglect those little business. If possible, working out simple things can prevent from marriage catastrophe, and lead them to delicious spices.

Busy couples often find troubles from trivial matters. My wife, Julie and I understand how they feel when they have to deal with them. We also have them sometimes. It is just every time there is a good chance to have a cup of coffee or defeat each other upon a hilarious monopoly board, the "responsible" thinking comes, perhaps just before I roll the dice and ready to buy another housing complex.

Oh, no, honey, I think we forgot something."

Oh please, not now."

Oh yes, please go now! I think you forgot to put the garbage out for the last two days, and I think the scratching noise must be Mrs. Bryson's bulldogs trying to unpack the loads since this morning."

Oh, no! Not again!"

The problem is both of us have never been so good in remembering things; those simple, everyday things.

What can one say about being a forgetful person? Having a flaw could be a disaster. It could be just one from another tons of differences one may find after she or he gets married. Nobody is perfect, and anybody in the world knows that. Sometimes couples also claim that they know that, but if they do, why do they fight with each other complaining that the flaws drive them mad? So, how much can somebody tolerate each other's flaws?

Julie and I think so. We hope that we would deal with it in a better way than the fighting couples. Even before one could realize how dangerous those mistakes may risk to the marriage, one may think positively in advance what a dull life he or she may expect from a perfect marriage. It may feel like living in heaven, but since nothing is better than the real heaven, a worldly heaven may be a little bit scary.

For me the flaw is the blessing of the marriage. At least that is what I thought. Even sometimes flaws can be the reason why one marries a person.

A love Julie very much. Sometimes, too much. I adore her since we met at the stupid gas station where the shopkeeper always ripped my five dollar changes off and pretended he had gave me them. At that time I thought she was perfect. She was a beautiful lady in red sweater who happened to meet me three times every Tuesday afternoon at the same place getting some gas for her minivan. She was also the one who always reminded me that I hadn't got my change. I was impressed by her attention.

One thing, from the other thousand ones, that I thought about her when we got married, was that she would be my savior who would always remind me on things that I forgot. Weeks after that I realized I was wrong. She was a worse forgetful person than I was. She can't leave home, or even live, without her organizer. We both burst in laughter when she told me that it was not because she was careful to notice how I forgot my changes at the gas station. She just simply saw the shopkeeper slipped the five dollars under the car fragrances packs beside the cashier machine.

A never regret that I married a different person. In fact I enjoy her astonishment when I buy her flowers and remind her to get her books out of my desk and return my laptop fully recharged after bringing it to the park to write her papers.

People have different ways to deal with this matter. I know some families who need to put this at their very end of nerves; that they have to scream out to each other just to clear out the dining table from sandals or frying pan. On the other hand, some people also agree to adjust to each other although that would include some silly amendment that needs giving up to one's custom. Glover (2000) agrees not to correct his wife's wrong words during singing and that he would let her having the remote control three times a week.

We call it the "power of sharing." What a name, but I like we call it that way. It actually shows that we have the power to do it both, we have the power of not having to ask somebody else to help taking care of the household chores for us, we have the power of doing such activities beneath the messy living room, and finally we have the power to race up against the knock on the door when Julie's mother called and said she was on the way to our house and I did not want to see her blaming on me for not finding her favorite table cover was lying around somewhere under the couch.

However, that was the old story. About two years after we got married, we had Nathan and Mathilda. Things piled up rapidly soon after that. Without a proper help and reminder I realize that we would soon lose a lot of items such as the baby bottles, little nail clipper, or the address book under the growing mountain of baby clothes, juice cartons, newspapers and potato chip packets in the family room.