Metaphysical Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction

Metaphysical Law of Attraction

Need for consideration of Metaphysical Law of Attraction

Attitude and their Effects

Superordinate Identities

Positive Effect in everyday interactions

In conflict management

Negative Affect As an indicator of an unhappy relationship

Paving the road to D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Positive Affect Paves the Road to Respect and Admiration

Use of Law of Attraction and Intercultural Communication

Metaphysical Law of Attraction

"Thou, constrained by no limits, in accordance with thine own free will, in whose hand we have placed thee, shalt ordain for thyself the limits of thy nature"..Giovanni Pico della Mirranda, Oranto "De hominis dignitatis, " or "God's Address to Adam."

"If you're not an infinite being, what would be the purpose of your life?"..Wyne Dyer, The Power of Intention

What are your beliefs about the nature of the universe? Do you have believed in order, universal natural laws, cosmic intelligence, or chaos? Do you believe in the presence of God? What is the importance of attitudes? What is a fortune? Is there a good or bad fortune? Why bad things happen to good people? These types of questions come to the mind of almost every human. One thing we note every time that positivity and virtues are universally accepted. Every one likes the good deeds such as truthfulness, honesty, talking politely and doing well for others. Similarly bad attitudes and wrong deeds such as telling lies, theft and doing wrong to others are disliked universally. Joseph Murphy writes, "As a person thinks, feels, and believes so is the condition of his or her mind, body and circumstances" (vxiii). "We are each 100% responsible for all of our experiences," discusses Louise Hay, "Every thought we think is creating our future" (You Can Heal Your Life 5). These statements in brief point to the existence of an influential and authoritative self who is manifesting its desires in order with a cooperative, abundant, and intelligent universe. As per this belief every human being in this universe is continuously creating his or her reality and the present day world is the collective creation of humanity. As has been described by Deepak Chopra, " And when we realize our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe" (Seven Spiritual Laws of Success 8). The current thesis is an exploration of the potential of universal law of attraction for the benefit of humanity. The author will discuss how this law is useful in interpersonal communications and relationship not only in close relations but also in the intercultural communication.

Need for consideration of Metaphysical Law of Attraction

Law of attraction is much needed in modern era than any other era as with the advancement of telecommunication and technology, the world has become a global village. There are many benefits of this globalization for example economically globalization accelerates the free flow of goods and services, investment, and labor. World trade expanded steadily throughout the 1990s, at a rate of more than 6% per annum, exceeding growth in world output by a wide margin (UNCTAD, 2003, p.41). Also, the five-year annual growth of world foreign direct investment (FDI) inflows and outflows increased from 20.0% during 1991-1995 to 40.1% during 1996-2000 (UNCTAD, 2002, p.4). As a result, the global economy has taken the shape of a single global market, which consists of a vast network of regional and local markets.

In terms of its political aspect, globalization has transformed the traditional concept of sovereignty of the nation states. The increasing power of global treaties and negotiations such as the General Agreement on Trade in Services (GATS) and the World Summit on the Information Society (WSIS), and some major international organizations such as the World Trade Organization (WTO), the International Monetary Fund (IMF), and the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) means that domestic issues cannot be fully managed just within a border of nation states. As a result, the power of nation states as sovereign actors in international relations has been undermined.

Yet there have been many harmful effects such as wars and widespread hatred based on language, color and race differences. There are gross violations of human rights such as deliberate acts of genocide and other war crime. Also there are most serious harms that the global community is facing are the result of ordinary, decent people engaging in "business as usual," rather than the result of deliberate acts of brutality or callous indifference. This is because we are often involved in collective harms (i.e., harms caused by the combined actions of many individuals) that are not directly caused by our individual actions, yet are in some sense dependent on them.

Attitude and their Effects

People interact with one another on a daily basis. As part of this process individuals will like some people better then others. This will happen for many different reasons, and many different psychological approaches have been developed for understanding this phenomenon. Depersonalized social attraction occurs when individuals depersonalized themselves and others through the process of categorization, and then are attracted to others who match the group's prototype. In other words, when individuals view themselves and others as group members, they do not evaluate others as individuals. Instead they evaluate them as group members. Since prototypes set the standards for groups, the more prototypical people are, the better they appear. In other words, a Christian will like an outstanding Christian more than an average Christian.

A paper published in 1995 added more evidence for depersonalized social attraction. In the experiment, individuals were asked to report their attitudes towards an individual who was either a group member, or their partner for a task. The study looked at how prototypicality influenced attraction and the results generally supported the idea that through depersonalization people are more attracted to prototypical group members (Michael A, 112)

Another paper published in 1998 wanted to examine the relationships between friendship, group identification, group cohesiveness, and groupthink. Generally speaking, groupthink arises when a group's striving for unanimity overrides other practical considerations and prevents the group from realistically evaluating its situation. This can lead to various problems, such as an unquestioned belief in the morality and invulnerability of the group. It also leads to problems in the decision making process. Groupthink's impact upon politics and other social situations has made it a popular topic for study, but the causes behind it have been less clearly understood.

Many factors can contribute to groupthink. The primary antecedent is group cohesiveness. The 1998 paper sought to better understand how cohesiveness could lead to groupthink by drawing a distinction between cohesion based upon personal attraction (friendship) and cohesion based upon depersonalized social attraction. The experiment placed people into four-person discussion groups that were formed with friends, socially attractive people, or random strangers. Conditions were then set up to encourage group think. The results showed that friendship was weakly or negatively related to groupthink. Friendship-based cohesiveness was not conducive for groupthink. On the other hand, depersonalized social attraction was strongly correlated with groupthink. (Michael A, 112) This is just one example of the powerful role that depersonalized social attraction can play.

The student's level of racial identification was measured and used to establish an in-group for the individuals. Then, through the fake news stories, the prototypical level of intelligence for the in-group (i.e. different racial groups) was manipulated. The students were then asked to evaluate various celebrities. As predicted, the more a celebrity matched the prototypical level of intelligence for the in-group, the more socially attractive they were. The level of prototypical embodiment was the strongest predictor for social attraction. (Dana E, 323) The results stress both the importance of depersonalized social attraction and the powerful effect that media can have on people's perception of others.

Another paper, published in 2010, also sought to examine in-group bias as it relates to religion. The paper explored the relationship between religious identification and one's reaction to aggression from others. The study was conducted in Israel, a place famous for religious conflict. 217 Jewish and Muslim young men, ages 14 -- 18, participated in the study. They were asked to respond to 12 different hypothetical situations. In these situations the participant was to imagine that they were in an isolated area, confronted with by an aggressive individual. The religion and gender of the aggressor, as well as the severity of the aggression changed from one scenario to another.

At the lower level, the aggression was described as a light shove, which did not knock one off his feet and was not painful. This was accompanied by a curse. At the higher level, it was described as a painful slap accompanied by profuse cursing. The study found that the participants' responses were more moderate towards members of their same religion than they were towards members of the opposite religion. (Zeev Winstok, 57)

A fascinating paper, published in 2009, sought to examine different social identities at the same time. The paper publishes the results of two studies that looked at the in-group bias created by different social identities (e.g. political views, nationality, religion, kinship). They measured this bias in four different circumstances: giving money in a dictator game, sharing an office, commuting, and working together. The first study presented the participants with hypothetical situations and asked them to respond. The second study was very similar, except that real money was used for the dictator game. The results of the studies are in line with SIT. People discriminated in favor of their in group regardless of which social identity was being addressed. This included religion and supports the tenet that people form social identities based upon religion.

Additionally, the studies found that people favored the in-group in all of the hypothetical situations. Finally, the authors were able to compare the levels of bias between the different social identities and were then able to rank them with one another. What they found is that family and kinship are the most powerful sources of bias, followed in descending order by political views, religion, sports-team loyalty, and music preference. This is one example of the importance that religion holds in people's lives, but its significance becomes even more pronounced when one looks at religion in the ancient world. As will be discussed later in detail, religion and politics in the ancient world were often inseparable. Rulers were appointed by the gods and a nation's success militarily and economically was thought to be directly dependant upon the gods. If one takes the list above and combines the political and religious categories, then one creates a bias inducing category of identity that is second only to family

Recent research has begun to examine the relationship between religious practice and feelings of uncertainty. A paper published in 2008 reported upon a study that examined people's belief in a non-random world, and how this related to one's belief in a controlling God. In the study, 47 students were presented with different scenarios designed to increase their level of anxiety. Half of the scenarios were also designed to lower the individual's belief in personal control. The authors predicted that belief in a controlling God would be strengthened when individuals were confronted with an uncertain and random world. The results of the experiment supported this conclusion, suggesting that religious social identities can be a powerful tool for dealing with uncertainty

Superordinate Identities

A powerful method for bringing people together is the creation of superordinate identities. Superordinate identities are overarching identities that encompass people who belong to other social identities as well. For example, the American national identity encompasses many people. American Jews, Christians, Muslims, etc., are all members of the larger American social identity. The American identity can therefore bring these people together under one unified social identity.

There are some important points to remember. First, which identity is salient (i.e. prominent and relevant) will change depending on the social context? Thus, while people are celebrating the 4th of July, their American identity may dominate. They would see everyone as part of their American group instead of categorizing them according to their religion. The social context makes the American social identity the most relevant, and thus salient. Conversely, at a worship service the same individual will likely categorize others according to their religion. This context emphasizes religion, and thus makes religious identities salient.

Second, superordinate identities are most successful when the subordinate identity is secure. This principle is known as the mutual intergroup differentiation model. It simply states that superordinate identities can improve relations as long as the integrity of the subgroups is maintained. Attempts to categorize individuals on a purely superordinate level can constitute a threat to their subordinate identities. This can lead to increased levels of discrimination as individuals try to maintain their identity

Positive Effect in everyday interactions

The role of positive affect in a marriage is to build a foundation for the marital friendship so that couples have more resilience during conflict discussions. In their study of 49 newlyweds, Driver and Gottman found that the role of positivity in everyday, routine interactions between spouses leads to the use of positive affect such as humor and physical affection during conflict, and is essential in predicting the health of the relationship. Driver and Gottman found how couples respond to routine exchanges in the everyday course of their relationship has a cumulative effect on the major aspects of the relationship, such as romance or conflict, which are more emotionally intense. They propose, in addition to acquiring marital skills such as effective communication and conflict resolution, couples also incorporate more positivity into the relationship during ordinary, insignificant, non-conflict interactions in order to "create a foundation upon which the major, more memorable events unfold" (p. 303).

Positive affect can be built-up through successful bids for emotional connection (Gottman & Driver, 34). Specifically, Gottman and Driver explored the role of interactions as attempts at intimacy and the effect on marital conflict. A bid for emotional connection consisted of an initial bid for intimacy from one partner and the receiving partner's response -- either one of turning toward, turning away, or turning against the other person. A bid for connection can encompass a variety of actions, all of which indicate enjoyment and respect your partner: making a topical comment, responding to a request, doing chores together, asking for an opinion, having extended conversation, injecting humor, a phone call during the work day, establishing rituals like eating breakfast together during the work day, holding hands, or attending church together. (Gottman & Silver, 33). When a partner "turns towards" these bids for connection, that is, the bid is acknowledged positively, they are building emotional closeness in the relationship, which helps to buffer the marriage during tough times. Gottman and Silver liken turning towards bids for connection to "putting money in the bank; the couple is building their up emotional savings that can serve as a cushion when times get rough, when they're faced with a major life stress or conflict" (p. 80). They speculated that one partner's negative response to the other's bids for intimacy may negatively impact the approach taken during conflict. For example, if a husband responds to his wife's bid for connection during everyday interactions by ignoring her (turning away) or acting irritable (turning against), she may respond by being critical during conflict which, according to earlier research (Gottman & Levenson, 84), may lead to the husband withdrawing from conflict, an indicator of a marriage heading for divorce.

Gottman (1994; 1999; & Silver, 1999) prescribes several strategies to inject positivity into a marital relationship. He suggests that the strongest way to ensure a lasting marriage is to increase intimacy between partners. One strategy Gottman recommends is creating Love Maps, mental constructs of your partner that increase the amount of cognitive room allotted to the relationship created by getting to know intimate, private details about your partner, being sensitive to them, and being considerate of their likes, tendencies, and past experiences during interactions with them. Gottman found that in marriages where spouses allowed a lot of cognitive room for knowledge about their partner tended to be happy, involving such things as knowing their favorite food, traumas that happened in childhood, and favorite relatives. This was another avenue in which to explore mechanisms for making meaning in the relationship. Gottman and Driver suggest that couples work on their friendship by discussing failed bids for emotional connection during everyday interactions and "change the way they make bids and/or the way they respond to them" (p. 76) as a mechanism for strengthening the marriage.

In conflict management

In marriages that work, positive affect was used in the service of de-escalating marital conflict and moving the overall affect from negative to a less negative (even a neutral) state. The de-escalation was also related to "physiological soothing, usually self soothing, but occasionally the wife soothing her husband with humor" (Gottman, Coan, Carrere, and Swanson 59). Essentially, Gottman recommends thinking about your spouse and taking action to show you are thinking about them, and being emotionally present, conscious, and engaged when you are together.

Another area Gottman has explored is the influence of the wife on the husband during a conflict discussion when he is upset, as his research has revealed this dynamic is key to a happy marriage. Gottman expanded on the principle of a wife's influence on her spouse: If a husband can accept the wife's soothing, or if he self-soothes, he is less likely to emotionally withdraw from the discussion, what Gottman calls "stonewalling." Once a couple's communication mechanism reaches the stonewalling phase, the last in a series of phases, they are doomed for divorce. Gottman extended this idea to hypothesize that a marriage will be as successful as a husband's willingness to accept influence from his wife, as he finds ways to be agreeable to reasonable requests, for example, accepting suggestions from her regarding his work schedule (p. 53).

Negative Affect As an indicator of an unhappy relationship

Gottman, Coan, Carrere, and Swanson studied 130 newlywed couples over six years to determine the marital interaction processes that predict marital stability or divorce. They attempted to build a model of processes undertaken by happily married, stable couples. Gottman et al.'s study was groundbreaking in terms of successfully arguing that the presence of anger in a relationship does not necessarily indicate a troubled marriage. Gottman et al. introduced the concept of a Balanced Model of marital process, where a couple "maintains a set point of the ratio of positivity to negativity that is functional if it is high or dysfunctional if it is low" (p. 8). Gottman, et al. proposed a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions while resolving conflict, particularly when the positive affect was used to de-escalate negativity. The same 5:1 ratio was effective when the positive affect was in the form of one spouse accepting the other's influence, particularly when the male was able to be soothed, either by himself or his partner (p. 17).

Paving the road to D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Gottman has identified four particularly damaging ways of communicating, what he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. He found couples head down the path of marriage breakdown when these are present and pervasive in their interactions. Gottman also found the rest of the Four Horsemen are sure to follow after the first turns up in a marriage and become a consistent part of the interactions. Women are consistently more prone to criticize, and men are prone to stonewalling, though the best single predictor of divorce is negativity in the form of the pervasive presence of contempt (p. 47). Gottman found the Four Horsemen were present in all marriages, though contempt was barely present in stable, happy marriages. He found that couples heading for divorce have a shaky marital friendship, and have fewer skills for combating or eradicating negativity. So it is important to combat negativity with positivity and making efforts to talk about and resolve the conflicts through dialogue.

In Gottman's book summarizing over 20 years of observational research, he suggests one of the most effective tactics for countering negativity in a marriage is introducing praise and admiration into the relationship. Stable couples have a positive attitude towards their spouse, and this can be developed through non-defensive listening and validation of each other. Changing perspective to an optimistic view helps change habitual negative thought patterns leading to developing a positive attitude. This is relevant to the present thesis that positive attracts positive and universal law of attraction that individual who try to maintain positive environment to support Gottman's theory that actively injecting positivity into the relationship makes for a happy marriage.

Fincham reviewed research of marital conflict, which was the focus in the first 30 years of marital research, concluding distressed couples make more negative statements than positive during conflict and are more likely to respond with negative behavior when their partner behaves negatively. Fincham concluded that the amount and prevalence of negative behavior is the most reliable indicator of marital failure. Fincham aligns with Gottman regarding patterns of conflict behavior, specifically failed repair attempts during conflict, and the demand/withdrawal pattern (of making a bid for connection and the turning towards or away response), which are more predictable in distressed couples, tend to escalate negativity and are difficult to stop cycling once they begin.

Kim, Capaldi, and Crosby examined the results of Gottman; through a set of couples with different characteristics from the sample used by Gottman, and were unable to replicate their findings. Kim, et al. stated that Gottman "made very strong suggestions about practice on the basis of their findings, with little consideration to possible limits to applicability to all couples" (p. 66), and suggested that Gottman's conclusions needed re-examination, taking into consideration attributes such as history of conflict discussions or low education levels. Though none of the couples in the present study fit the profile of the couples in Kim, et al., awareness of such limitations were considered. Kim et al. recommend further investigation of affective process models. Relational dialectics focuses on the positive aspects of individual differences (Baxter, 2004b), which enable others to expose what we cannot see in ourselves, enabling us to construct ourselves and our relationships and experience growth (p. 5). Differences are viewed as the means through which individuals and relationships develop, as opposed to obstacles to be managed or avoided. Baxter and West discussed how participants' romantic partners and platonic friends exposed them to "different perspectives, interests, and approaches, thereby helping one another's selves to become" (p. 5). Baxter and Montgomery conceptualize this self-becoming as openness-to another person, where "one is willing to listen to him or her from that person's perspective, to display receptivity to what that person has to say, to be open to change in one's own beliefs and attitudes" (p. 5). This concept runs parallel to Gottman's principle of accepting influence.

We all behave within agreed-upon structures in social contexts. For example, it is generally agreed that some behaviors that are acceptable in a bar would not be acceptable while attending a church service. According to Short (998), structures are in place to allow us to participate effectively in groups and to meet goals, for example structures in the work place (meetings, office protocol, etc.) or family structures (when dad prepares the meal, mom cares for the children). Short expands upon this idea, stating "patterns of interaction establish the real structure, regardless of organization wiring, job descriptions, or role descriptions. & #8230; The real, fundamental structure emerges while you do the work" (p. 60), which aligns with the concept of dialogue as constitutive process in Relational Dialectics. As we operate within the many discourses, or systems, as characterized by Short, we continually readjust our definitions through our interactions with others within the system. Short also states "change and learning do not occur until someone disagrees" (p. 64), which requires us to act differently in order to learn and develop our Self, a concept that runs parallel to competing discourses in Relational Dialectics.