Challenging Experience in My Life

¶ … Challenging Experience in My Life

It is widely believed that an individual's personality is molded by her or his personal experiences. While there may be a great deal of merit in this statement, personally I believe that a lot depends on how an individual faces up to life's challenges, no matter how difficult the experience. The basis of my belief stems from the realization that the degree to which an individual is able to progress on the path to self-actualization depends on how successfully life's challenges are met and overcome. In fact, I firmly subscribe to the view that each of life's challenges deepens one's understanding of life, leading to self-realization, self-development and then self-actualization. Today, I try and lead my life guided by this personal philosophy, which in truth of fact, evolved from the most challenging experience of my life, to date.

The experience I am about to describe occurred in my final year of High School and proved to be a major turning point in my life since I believe that it totally transformed my worldview and personality. Indeed, this particular experience merits the position of "the most challenging experience in my life," precisely because of the fact that it challenged me on a highly personal level, causing a total catharsis. Prior to this challenging experience, I was quite unaware that an individual's destiny is pretty much determined by whether she or he allows circumstances to gain the upper hand or sees life's challenges as an opportunity to gain knowledge and wisdom about life.

Looking back, I think that my ignorance can be forgiven since, like most youth from the more advantaged sections of society, I simply took the relative normalcy of my life for granted and as part of my "birthright." The arrogant belief that the privileges I enjoyed were my birthright and due was, however, shaken to its very core when my family's financial circumstances suddenly changed for the worse.

The drastic reversal in my family's financial situation affected my family and personal life on several levels, including the fact that the funds, which had been set aside for my college education, were now in jeopardy. The fact that my family was forced to use the money that had been set aside for my college education for more pressing matters naturally caused a great deal of family tension, changing a hitherto happy household to a grim and silent one.

Of course, my endangered college education was only one of the sources of family stress and strife. Indeed, as I look back and reflect, one has to admit that the primary source of disgruntlement and tension was that each family member had to face up to the family's reduced financial circumstances and make adjustments in the comfortable lifestyle that had always been taken so much for granted. The change in the happy family atmosphere that I had always enjoyed was, in fact, the first level of the challenge, which I had to face.

Today, I am rather ashamed to admit that I utterly failed to understand and accept the changed family fortunes, and instead, spent a great deal of time in silently blaming my father for failing to ensure that his family would remain financially secure and comfortable. To make matters worse, I was also ashamed to admit to my friends that I could no longer afford to indulge in expensive or frequent recreational and leisure activities. Instead, I spent most of my time holed up in my bedroom fruitlessly brooding over my ill luck and wallowing in a really bad case of self-pity, never realizing that I was adding to my parent's stress and guilt over the changed family circumstances.

My bout of self-pity may have continued indefinitely leading to a worsening of my personal circumstances and self-esteem if it hadn't been for the fortuitous and timely involvement of an uncle who I had always admired. In fact, as I think back, I believe that my brooding may have ended up in my firmly shutting the doors on any possibility of a college education. Indeed, the writing was on the wall for a bleak personal future with my already below average grades slipping even further and several close friends giving up on me.

Fortunately, my uncle was able to counsel me on the family's altered circumstances leading me to reconsider my adverse reactions. In fact, I derived an invaluable amount of solace and comfort from the inordinate amounts of time that he chose to spend with me, something that I will always be grateful for. Strangely, however, the turning point in my attitude was brought about not by the comfort he offered but by his finally losing his patience with my moodiness and telling me to "stop behaving like a spoiled child and grow up!"

Today, it amuses me that my first reaction, on hearing those words, was hurt and anger that my idol could even say such a thing. It amuses me even more to recall that my instinctive impulse was to turn my back on my uncle and stalk off. Perhaps my uncle anticipated exactly that reaction, for almost the next thing he said stopped me in my tracks. Indeed, I doubt that I will ever forget his exact words, which were, "If you believe that you are capable of behaving like a responsible adult, you can begin by putting your emotions aside and listening to what I have to say with an open mind."

My uncle proceeded to talk to me about the importance of meeting life's challenges head on without losing conviction in one's personal values or faith in one's ability to overcome any and all difficulties. Most important, he pointed out that the first step to meeting any challenge was to accept it and approach it with a positive frame of mind. Using this advice as a foundation, he proceeded to talk to me about the necessary steps that I would have to take to assure my own personal future, while easing the burden on my parents.

My uncle wound up by telling me, "Every human being faces problems and has issues in life. The difference, if any, is between those who solve their problems and those who choose to throw away their lives by bemoaning their fate. The first kind comprise of men and women who develop into people with a sense of self-esteem and self-worth, whereas the second type usually go down a path that can only lead to self-destruction. Today, you have a choice in determining which direction you personally wish to go, and really, it's purely up to you and you alone."

Today, I thank my stars that my uncle decided to haul my negative attitude over the coals for I believe that single act proved to be a major defining moment in my life, as it made me think long and hard about the kind of person I wished to be. In fact, I remember spending a sleepless night introspecting and repeatedly doing a self-evaluation. Luckily, this time my brooding was not in vain, because it was for a constructive purpose and resulted in my becoming highly aware of the personal choices that I had to make.

My introspection also led to the revelation that my behavior had hurt my family as well as several of my close friends who had tried to lend their support during a personal crisis. Clearly, therefore, the first thing that I had to do was face the rather difficult and awkward task of apologizing to all injured parties. Surprisingly, I discovered that apologizing is not difficult at all when there is a genuine desire to recompense a person for a harm done. This discovery, in fact, helped me realize that a positive approach to a difficult task actually reduces any perceived unpleasantness and stress.