Communication and family dysfunction in Ordinary People

Communication

Ordinary People

Communication (and the lack of it) is one of the key ingredients in the film Ordinary People. Throughout the film, there are many scenes where this is obvious, and this is the underlying theme and motivation of the film. In the scene where Calvin finally confronts Beth about her cold and aloof behavior, she cannot talk with him about her feelings or her grief. Instead, she runs away from the situation, packs her bag, and leaves the house. Her lack of communication skills has hurt the family just as much as Buck's death, and created a climate of sadness, fear, and anger. She is afraid to let the others see her emotions, she is afraid to hear what the others think, and because of that, she cannot come to terms with her own grief.

Calvin does not help matters, either. In one scene, he asks Conrad, "Are you OK?" However, he really does not want to hear the answer, and he is pleased when Conrad just answers "sure." It takes therapy for Calvin to learn how to really listen as well as share his own feelings. He was afraid of the real answer Calvin might have given, and so he asked a question that really did not ask for an answer. However, Calvin learns how to communicate with therapy, while Beth refuses to attend, because she does not want to know the answers, or that she is part of the problem. She avoids confrontation and wallows in her grief.