Their Is No Significant Difference Between Men and Women Sex Drive

¶ … Women Have a Higher Sex Drive Than Men

Do women have a higher sex drive than me

According to Murray and Milhausen (2012) sexual desire is the experience of urges, fantasies and thoughts that push one towards engaging in sexual activity. During the initial stages of a relationship, the desire is usually high owing to the need for one to relate on a sexual level with his or her partner. Though there is agreement about the initial stages of the relationship studies have not offered consistent findings regarding whether and in which way sexual desire can be kept high beyond the initial stages (Murray & Milhausen, 2012).

The question whether the sexual desire of women is greater that than of men or vice versa is both elusive and immediate. It is elusive in the sense that opinions and research on the questions have reported different and often contradictory results. And immediate in the sense that almost each and every adult has had some kind of sexual relationship in their lives. When we told friends that we wanted to scientifically investigate the question, most of them were dismissive arguing that the answer was obvious, however when we asked what the answer was, there were a grand total of three different answers that the sex drive of men was higher, that women's sex drive was higher, that the sex drive of both genders were the same. As pointed out in the beginning of this chapter even academic scholars have differing opinions on the matter. Study findings disseminated to the public have often supported opposite views such as the argument that the majority of women are not disturbed by any type of sexual feelings or the argument that females and not males are the ones who have been biologically structured to be the engines of sex among humans (Kleinplatz, Menard, Paquet, Paradis, Campbell, Zuccarino & ...Mehak, 2009).

So first of all, what exactly is sex drive? It is the feeling of wanting to engage or being interested in an activity of sexual nature. Several studies have asserted that males show more drive to have sex than females (Murray, Sutherland & Milhausen, 2012). Other studies have released similar findings that concluded men think about sex more frequently than women do; that men reported having sexual feelings and fantasies more often than women did. In terms of self-reports on the sexual drive men rated themselves as having higher sexual drive than women. Men were also more inclined to be visually stimulated and also reported a higher likelihood to spend money on prostitutes, pornographic videos and sexual items (Kleinplatz et al., 2009).

Women and men differ in what they want in terms of sexual frequency. When partners in heterosexual relationships do not agree on sexual frequency, the man is often the partner who would like to have sex more times than the woman. In sexual relationships between heterosexual partners, the real sexual frequency often reflects a balance between the drives of both the man and the woman. In homosexual relationships, sexual frequency is a function of the kind of homosexual relationship, with gay couples reported to have more sex than lesbian couples. Moreover, it has been revealed that females are usually more ready to forego sex or stick to marital vows than men. One of the best indicators of sexual desire or drive is masturbation since it is not dependent on partner availability. As men have a higher sex drive they have been reported to more likely masturbate and that too earlier in life and more frequently (Murray et al., 2012).

The intensity and/or frequency of sexual desire are the two things that determine sex drive. The question we are investigating in this report is on whether males like sex more than females or vice versa. This question can be best approached by first assuming the gender issue and delving into the issue of whether two individuals of the same sex would have a difference in their sex drives. In other words, in what ways would a man with a strong drive differ from a man with a weaker one? It is expected that differences would be shown in terms of the readiness to make difficult choices to have sex, the frequency of fantasizing about sex, the different number of partners, masturbation frequency, the kinds of sexual acts desired, and the frequency of having sex (Karabulut & Erci, 2009).

This research aims to look into the differences in sexual drive using the expected pertinent variables discussed above. The many contradictory findings in academic research reveal that there is a need to find convergence between the many studies investigating the iterations of the question of whether there are differences in sexual drive between sexes to draw a conclusion based on scientific facts (Impett, Strachman, Finkel & Gable, 2008). When investigating over 170 studies on gender differences in terms of sexual drive, huge differences were reported in the sexual act of masturbation, with many studies pointing to males having greater interest in sex (Impett, Strachman, Finkel & Gable, 2008).

1.2. Theoretical and Operational Definitions

Value judgements, general confusion and theoretical discourses on the issue of gender differences in terms of sexual drive may arise by mixing or exchanging facts or concepts so that both are not talking of the same thing from either side. There are many variables or concepts in the matter completely independent from the others, and it is important to differentiate the concepts clearly (Impett et al., 2008).

The term sex drive as will be used in this proposal has the same meaning as sexual desire and they both refer to sexual interest or motivation frequently focused on the urge to have sexual pleasure or to engage in sexual activity. The term sexual desire is perhaps the most appropriate for this proposal than sexual drive. For example, the statement that, an individual with a greater sex drive is one who has more frequent/intense desires for sex, makes a fine distinction of how the two words can be interchanged. According to an observation made by Van Anders (2012) interest in sexual activity can stem from different sources including desire to reproduce, increase feelings of domination, or to relieve oneself from stress. This research will focus only on the interest in sex that is driven by the desire for sex itself. One of the other important things to note in this discourse is that the word "drive" does not automatically mean an inborn biological inclination (Impett et al., 2008).

Another term that should be clearly defined is sexual capacity, when used in this proposal means the maximum amount of sex that one can engage in. An individual with a larger sexual capacity is one who has the ability to engage in sex more frequently, or with multiple partners or for longer periods. For the purposes of explaining sexual capacity, see these examples, men are assumed to be equally capable of dieting when compared to women but seem less motivated to do so. Similarly, women also have the same capacity to watch live sports as men but also seem less driven to do so, thus any proof of greater sexual capacity by either men or women would not automatically have an implication on the issue of whether there is a difference in sexual drive. Nonetheless, the issue of sexual capacity is important in other scientific discourses on sex (Impett et al., 2008; van Anders, 2012).

Finally, we also have to define the term sexual enjoyment. The term as used in this proposal will mean the quantity of pleasure that one gets from engaging in a sex. An individual who experiences greater sexual enjoyment is one who gets more pleasure out of the activity. Obviously, the amount of pleasure that one gets is different for different persons and also for different activities and sessions- meaning that most people have probably had good and bad sex at some point in their lives and at the same time there may be personal variations in the degree of pleasure derived. Unlike sex drive, enjoyment is a result/outcome and hence it is theoretically different from sex drive, even though a greater sex drive would be associated with greater enjoyment (Giles, 2008; van Anders, 2012).

1.3. Rationale of the study

This study focuses on sex drive and therefore will be dealing with the desire to have sex. Operationally, it is our opinion that greater sex drive will be manifested in several different behaviours owing to the strong desire to have sex more often and attempts to get more satisfaction. Greater sex motivations/desires often override other motivations and the outcome is that the resulting behaviour is almost always linked to that greater motivation (Murray & Milhausen, 2012).

1.4. Research question and hypothesis

Research question

Do women have a higher sex drive then men?

Hypotheses

H0: Women do have a higher sex drive then man

H1: There is no significant difference between men and women sex drive

2. Literature Review

Studies done in the last few years on the unwanted/uncontrollable sexual fantasies give more evidence to the argument that the male sex drive often results in more thinking about sex even in cases where the man does not wish to dwell on those fantasies or thoughts. Studies have revealed that more male university students self-reported having more uncontrollable or unwanted sexual thoughts even in cases where such thoughts were not acceptable to them compared to female university students (the males reported 7.5 and females 5.6 out of 20 potential sexual unwanted thoughts listed in the survey questionnaire). Researcher Toates (2009) came up with a scale for sexual compulsion and the scale had items such as "I dwell on sexual thoughts more than I would normally like" and "I must strive to control my sexual desires and thoughts under control." Using this scale, the males had higher scores than females, pointing towards the higher likelihood of men having a greater sex drive. Statistics on unprompted or spontaneous sexual desire/arousal backed the assertion that males have a greater sex drive than females (Goldhammer & McCabe, 2011). Studies have also revealed that men have more recurrent sexual desires than women, according to one of the studies, almost all men (about 91%) compared to only about half of the women (52%) experience different types of sexual arousal or desire several times per week.

The same study also revealed that the assertion that females find it less easy to identify sexual desire or arousal is not true, since both women and men supported the same things as the indicator of arousal or desire. Similarly, another study concluded that the typical young man experiences natural or spontaneous sexual arousal a number of times per day, whereas the typical young woman also experiences such desires but only a few times per week. Research has also revealed that males reported more recurrent sexual desire and were quite easily stimulated compared to females. In another study, a few young heterosexual adults were chosen and isolated for the monitoring of sexual urges within the course of seven days. In that study the men reported having two times as much sexual desire during each day compared to the women. Although the difference in terms of spontaneously generated fantasies was not that big, it was found that the men had way more sexual fantasies during sexual activities such as masturbation relative to women (McCabe & Goldhammer, 2012).

In this proposal, we support the argument that sexual fantasies are probably one of the best indicators of sexual drive. This is owing to the fact that they are directly related to sex and can only occur when allowed to and yet at the same time such fantasies are not restrained by social pressures, need for a partner or a myriad of other external factors. For instance, an individual may enjoy a sexual fantasy during a lecture, walking in the park, or even on a bus ride. Likewise McGabe and Goldhammer (2012) also argued in their work that sexual fantasies are the best indicators of sexual desire. In their work, the two researchers reported that women who had self reported chronic low sex drive also reported less sexual fantasy compared to other women.

Quite a number of studies have also directly investigated the issue of differences in sexual desires. A meta-analysis of that data led to the finding that males have more recurrent or frequent sexual fantasies compared to females and that such fantasies also often include more partners than women and that they also involve many more acts than women. The above mentioned differences support the assertion that men have a greater sex drive compared to women (Sims & Meana, 2010).

In other study that was done by Carpenter, Nathanson and Kim (2009), the number or variety of partners was investigated. The study asked individuals whether they have sex with more than one thousand partners in their fantasies. Because of the young age of the participants of the study (university students) it was not surprising that their active imaginations would result in quite a high score in the study. The 2009 study also found that males were 4 times more likely to imaginations compared to females. Thus, the research concluded that men were more likely to have sexual thoughts, to reveal more frequent arousal and to have more frequent and/or different kinds of fantasies compared to women. These conclusions are very much in agreement with the argument that men do have a higher sex drive (Carpenter et al., 2009).

2.1. Desired Frequency of Sex

A somewhat explicit indicator of the strength of sexual drive is how recurrently the individual feels the urge to satisfy that drive. Thus the desired sex frequency is a good measure of sex drive. Quite a significant number of studies point to the fact that males want to have sex more frequently relative to females. The study by Fisher, Moore and Pittenger (2012) is a fine example of such studies. The study looked into heterosexual partners who had been married for over 2 decades and found that in the course of twenty years the men in the marriages were the ones who wanted to have sex more frequently compared to the women (p. 274). Indeed, the women in the surveyed marriages revealed that the frequency of sex in their marriages was satisfactory; however the men in the same survey reported desiring about 50% more sex. The work by Carpenter et al. (2009) similarly found that the majority of men (about 60%) desired a higher frequency of sex compared to a minority of women (only 32%).

Another study by Impett et al. (2008), found that both wives and husbands agreed that the husbands had more frequent sexual desires. Other studies also showed that females were more probable than males to desire a less frequency of sex than what they were having, whereas males were more likely to desire more sex as mentioned earlier. A study among elderly couples in Sweden similarly found that the husbands were more likely to want more sex than the wives did (Fisher et al., 2012). Indeed, the authors of the study reported that men were greatly more sexual compared to women and this was across different ages and in all aspects. However, those studies focused on elderly couples and one could expect that the case would be the same for early stages in relationships. True to that expectation, statistics show that at the early stages of relationships also, men do want more sex relative to women. Other studies also assert that in relationships the men are often ready to have sex earlier than women. A study done in Australia by McGabe and Goldhammer (2011) also showed that the category of persons who were in relationships such as marriages and desired but were not having sex was made almost exclusively of men. For instance, the study found that among individuals who were 25 years of age only 2% of women were "secondary virgins" yet of the 25-year-old men 28% of them fell in this category; likewise Giles (2008) concluded in his study that males were more likely to blame their partners for not indulging in sex. Other researchers, Karabulut and Erci (2009) reported that one of the reasons men were not having sex was that they could not convince their partner into having sex and that the choice was not really theirs. In the study, it was also concluded that women were more likely to wait longer before having sex in a new relationship.

Thus, in terms of heterosexual partnerships men want more sex compared to women throughout their relationship. Likewise, Van Anders (2012) also concluded that men in relationships reported greatly more urge for sex than what they were already getting, whereas women reported having satisfactory amounts of sex. Toates (2009) said there could be exceptions. For instance, he said during the phase of the relationship where the woman is beginning to trust the man and intimacy levels are increasing then the gap between sexual desires of both men and women might reduce significantly or disappear completely. Thus, female sexual desire might match the male once during such a period in both intensity and frequency. However, despite the exception pointed out by Toates (2009) evidence still strongly supports the fact that during most phases of heterosexual relationships men are the ones who want more sex than women. One of the arguments put forth to support why women show less readiness to have sex is the possibility of them getting pregnant. Thus in heterosexual partnerships women's reluctance to have sex could point to cautiousness in the women owing to the possibility of getting pregnant.

However, the arguments asserted above could only be true for heterosexual relationship as there is no possibility of getting pregnant in a gay or lesbian relationship. The study by Murray and Milhaussen (2012) in their study on gay persons found that most men in homosexual relationships stopped having sex after about ten years with their partners and at such a time they could be engaging in sex with other partners; while women in homosexual relationships also stopped having sex around the same time but did not find other partners to compensate for the lack of sex. The study showed that in the first 24 months of homosexual relationships over 60% of gays and only about 30% of lesbians were reported to have a sex frequency of about thrice a week and after 10 years the numbers reduced to 11% and 1% for gays and lesbians respectively. After ten years about 50% of the lesbians and approximately 30% of the gay men reported having sex less than a month; numbers that the researchers claimed might even be still be an underestimate of the differences in sexual activity. The period after about ten years after which lesbians largely ceased having sex was referred to as the "the lesbian death bed." Thus, evidence in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships support the argument that men want to have sex more frequently compared to women, across different ages and at most relationship phases.

3. Methodology

3.1. Research design

Volunteers to the study will be recruited through social media (Twitter and Facebook), emailing lists, and posters around campus. A special website for the study will also be created whereby additional participants will be recruited. Additional information about the research will also be posted on the website. All participants will then be considered for selection using selection criteria which will include the following qualities for one to be considered for the study:

The participant should be in a heterosexual relationship that has lasted for more than three years

If female, the participant should not be pregnant or with a child who is less than 12 months old

The participant should also be presently living with his partner.

If a participant is taking an antidepressant he or she will be excluded from the study. This is because of the effects of antidepressants on sexual functioning (Werneke, Northey, & Bhugra, 2006). If a volunteer meets the above three conditions he or she will then be asked to give their partner's email address. The partner will then be emailed to invite them to learn about the study and if they meet the above set criteria they too will be recruited and the two will be categorized as a couple. Then later every participant will be taken through the study and all its elements will be explained to them and then they will be asked to give consent. Upon giving informed consent, the volunteers will then be asked to complete a questionnaire that will be sent to them (van Anders, 2012; MURRAY & MILHAUSEN, 2012; Murray et al., 2012).