Relationship quality, marriage, and effective parenting

Parenting

Marriage and Parenting:

A Study of the Relationship Between Quality of Marriage and Effective Parenting

United States governmental data shows that exactly half of all marriages will end in divorce.

The data is for the year 2012, a year not yet started, but one in which the statistics are unchanging. Though unsurprising for some, these statistics show that children will often experience broken homes and broken families, and from personal experience, I can vouch that divorce or separation is no way to raise a child, and such a young individual should never be in the midst of a custody battle, a divorce proceeding, or any other marital problems. Because of such statistics it becomes clear also that parenting is cast aside, or at least, ignored a little. However, for those lucky children who have a united home, their parents' happy marriage will be very clearly reflected in parenting. In fact, this paper will examine further the fact that a relationship exists between quality of marriage and effective parenting and will argue that the most effective parenting with the most positive outcomes results only when there is harmony and understanding between two married parents.

The first and most important aspect of parenting to touch upon, with respect to effective parenting with positive results, as described above, is to understand that coparenting will produce the best results. Coparenting, a concept that involves, as afore-stated, mutual respect and understanding on the parts of the parents can only be cultivated when these aspects are present in a marriage. Without them, parenting simply does not work, and a child will sense disagreement and discord between the parents, and will become confused as to whose advice and actions he or she should follow.

One must ask, however, why other family networks work so well. For instance, often times single parenting, or parenting between individuals who are not married is also very effective. While this is true, a child needs clear guidelines as to who fulfills what role and mother and father or husband and wife are very clear roles. However, if there is harmony between to unmarried individuals, who have respect and a harmonious, long-term relationship - effective parenting, could take place in this case as well.

Though the latter-mentioned phenomenon has not be studied as closely as the traditional relationship between marriage and parenting and though it could work just as well, this paper will base its conclusions on concrete studies. For instance, one scholar advises that, indeed, family-based research for heterosexual married individuals, and with respect to coparenting in particular, has expanded. This author states,

"As family systems research has expanded, so have investigations into how marital partners coparent together. Although coparenting research has increasingly found support for the influential role of coparenting on both marital relationships and parenting practices, coparenting has traditionally been investigated as part of an indirect system which begins with marital health, is mediated by coparenting processes, and then culminates in each partner's parenting."

The relationship between a happy marriage and effective parenting is evident in other studies as well, and the sheer numbers of the studies conducted on such relationships are reason enough to explore the topic further.

A second study focuses on the psychological relationship between the parents, and the way in which this is reflected upon the children, which is a very complex topic indeed. The study finds that in most emotionally unstable couples, there will be emotional abuse that the parents will, wanting or otherwise, transmit to the children. In other words, there is a higher potential that bad marriages can lead to emotional or psychological scarring for the children, thereby resulting in poor parenting.

A last study to be examined here is one that also focuses directly on how couples' relationships, and especially married couples' relationships, can affect children. The study begins by stating,

"An extensive literature over the past several decades has examined how family structure and instability are linked to children's well-being and development (Fomby & Osborne, 2010; McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994). Less well understood is how relationships and dynamics within families are related to child outcomes. Family systems theory suggests that children's development cannot be understood independent from the characteristics and interactions of other actors within the family, and that the parental relationship is central to family functioning (Cummings & O'Reilly, 1997)."

This study, in addition, to cementing the positive child-rearing relationship that is brought about by successful harmonious marriages, and thereby parenting, also suggests that further research must be undertaken in understanding how children interact with not just the parents, but also other members of the same family.