Personality research topics and frameworks

¶ … embarrasses or shames them to such an extent that they might be reluctant to seek professional assistance, has probably looked into some kind of self-help reading. Not all of this reading is found in self-help books. In fact, self-help is such a popular topic, that I went to my bathroom magazine rack and pulled out five different magazines with self-help articles. Some of them targeted fixing certain behaviors, but others, like Oprah magazine, made bold promises about changing one's life after taking a 28-question quiz. It made me realize that, as a society, we are really enamored with the idea of the quick-fix. It also made me a little bit angry. The fact that these magazines, all of them targeted towards women, featured articles promising to help people fix their lives, made me realize that people are really struggling with issues and not seeking the appropriate help. Does the proliferation of all of these self-help books compound the problem, or does it provide some relief for some of the people experiencing turmoil? I realize that is a question that may not be answerable, but it is a question that is worth asking. Moreover, does this proliferation of self-help keep people from seeking professional assistance?

I think that it is likely that these self-help books do keep some people from seeking assistance, and, that by prolonging people's contact with mental health professionals, almost certainly exacerbate problems for some people. However, I think that even ineffective self-help books may provide people with a catalyst to seek out professional help. After all, reading a self-help book means that a person is at least acknowledging that an issue needs to be addressed. They may not be at the point of acknowledging that they need professional help to address the issue, and not all issues require that level of intervention, but they are at least no longer in denial about the fact that there is an issue.

Personally, I have found two self-help type books to be extremely helpful, but the reasons that I found these books helpful varied with the book. The first of these books was given to me by a family friend when I was a teenager struggling to cope with the alcoholism and substance abuse issues that plagued my family. The book was called Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism and discussed the Al-Anon approach to dealing with alcoholism. While I appreciate that Al-Anon is a support group for people who choose to remain in relationships with alcoholics, even as a teenager, I found its approach demeaning. The book seemed to advocate playing a victim's role, though it used empowering language to do so. I rejected the message of the book, determined that I would not develop the same substance abuse problems as some of my family members and that I would never tolerate addictive behavior in the family I created once grown. That rejection of the message in that book has served me well, as I have avoided drug and alcohol abuse and have never been involved in a romantic relationship or a close friendship with an addict.

The second book that I found helpful was a book written by Joel Osteen, a televangelist based out of Houston, Texas. There is a lot of criticism, much of it justified, about Osteen and his ministry. Both the ultra-religious and non-religious critics of his suggest that Osteen is twisting the Bible's message to imply that Christianity and financial security are intertwined, which gives his followers false hope. Reading Osteen's book, I found those criticisms to be rather hollow. While Osteen's treatment of scripture varied from the normal treatment of scripture, it was no more carefully selected to convey his message than the religious messages of most churches. Moreover, I found his advice helpful. I did not become a millionaire, but I found his advice to remain positive and be certain that I could persevere to be uplifting and inspiring. Sometimes, life just seems overwhelming, and a book that conveys the message that a person is never truly alone helps alleviate some of the dread that comes with a feeling of being so overwhelmed. As a result, I have to consider his book helpful, even if I have not yet achieved the financial success the book seemed to promise.

Chapter Two

I love candy, which probably comes as no surprise, since most people love candy. Furthermore, when choosing a non-chocolate candy, I frequently turn to Starburst. I absolutely love the way that they taste. However, as much as I love candy, in general, and Starburst in particular, I actually get physically ill at the thought of Starburst twizzlers. Even contemplating eating them leaves me queasy. What is even more unique is that this did not occur until late in my life. As a young adult, I had Starburst twizzlers just before experiencing a horrible bout of food poisoning. Though the twizzlers are not what made me ill, they were the last food that I consumed prior to becoming ill, and just thinking of them brings on the same nausea I experienced with that illness. Interestingly enough, the other strong example of classical conditioning that I have noticed in everyday life also involves a nausea response to an innocuous food. A relative had cancer and had to undergo chemotherapy. While he was being treated, the hospital served him Jell-o with virtually every meal. He has been cancer-free for well over a decade, but he still cannot stand the sight of Jell-o.

Even more interesting to me than the impact of operant conditioning on my own interpersonal relationships is the impact that operant conditioning has had on a child in my life. One of my friends has a young son who is autistic. He is non-verbal, though not considered severe or profound. For example, he is non-violent, but he does engage in a wide repertoire of self-soothing stemming behaviors, and interfering with his performance of those behaviors can result in him causing self-harm and occasionally physically lashing out at others. This child has recently begun getting ABA therapy, and an in-home trainer comes to work with his mother to teach her how to work with her son.

I am struck by how much his ABA therapy relies on the basic principles of operant conditioning. There is no punishment involved in his training. While some people may feel that punishment is appropriate for an autistic child, his in-home trainer feels that applying aversive stimuli to a person who is already over-stimulated is not conducive to learning. However, the rest of his therapy relies heavily on positive reinforcement, rewards, and negative reinforcement. For example, at five, this child is far away from being toilet-trained, and, since toilet-training is a particularly difficult issue for many autistic children, my friend has been told to expect that he may be in his teens before mastering that skill. Prior to the in-home trainer, my friend had never had success attempting to get him to use the bathroom on the potty. However, the trainer showed her how to implement a chocolate reward system for when we sat on the potty and tried to go. Now, he will sit on the potty and attempt to get his reward.

In addition, his mother and his trainer have used operant conditioning to help make him somewhat verbal. His favorite food is popcorn, and he used to simply point at it and his mother would supply it for him. Then, the trainer said not to give any to him unless he vocalized. Once grunting or making some other noise was established as a popcorn request, the trainer told her not to give it to him unless he made a "popcorn"-like sound. Then, he was to be rewarded with one piece of popcorn. Now, he must say the word "popcorn," and each utterance earns him exactly one piece of popcorn. If he begins to tantrum, which is common because he gets very frustrated during his training, then my friend has been instructed to remove the popcorn and not let him have any more of it that day. This has been an incredibly effective technique and has increased his vocabulary from one word, "Wonderpets," to 10-15 words, depending on the day. While a 10-15-word vocabulary may seem insignificant, for a child who was non-verbal for almost five years, it is an incredible achievement, and it is all due to operant conditioning.

Chapter Three: Stress and Effects

If there is one topic in psychology that people should be required to study, that topic is stress and how it can impact one's life. Of course, while people can do things to eliminate some stress from their lives, there is no way to have a completely stress-free life, short of becoming a hermit. Even then, without companionship, people would probably find themselves tremendously stressed. Therefore, it is important to understand stress, what causes stress, and how stress can impact one's life. That way, if one is facing a particularly stressful time period, they can implement stress management techniques to help them mitigate the impact of stress on their lives.

People are aware of the impact that major stressful events can have on a person's life. In general, society is solicitous of people undergoing major stressors like major illness, divorce, or a death in the family. However, it is interesting to note that, for the individual, small stressors can actually be more significant than major stressors. For example, a friend of mine was fired from her job the day before 9-11. The day of 9-11, when everyone else was so stressed out about the idea of a terrorist attack, she was far more worried about the source of her next paycheck. While she realized, intellectually, that the national impact of 9-11 was certainly greater than the national impact of her being fired, in her life she experienced the loss of her job as a more stressful event. In fact, the most stressful part of 9-11 was that, with its resultant shut-down of government services throughout the country, it delayed her ability to file for unemployment, compounding her stress. While this may make my friend appear selfish, it should come as no surprise. Research certainly suggests that everyday hassles actually contribute more stress, or at least have a greater impact on overall mental health, than major life events. While losing her job may have been a major life event for her, the job loss did not represent a discrete event, but was the cumulation of an extended period of difficulty in the work place, and that difficulty added a significant amount of stress to her life.

While people can do many things to avoid stress, there are some aspects of modern life that seem to introduce stress into people's lives. For example, overcrowding, excessive low-level noise, and other hallmarks of city life can be a significant source of stress. One of the cuter examples of this phenomenon involves my older sister's child and a trip that their family took to New York City. My nephew was approximately three years old when his family went to visit New York City. While he was happy to see some of the sights, the sheer volume of people and the constant noise obviously got to him, so much so that after only one day of braving the crowds, he began acting in an aggressive manner towards some of the people on the street. As they would crowd close to him, he would push them away, stating, "Get out of my personal space." At three, not only did he experience the stress that comes with overcrowding, but he was able to recognize where the stress came from and to make attempts to mitigate the stress. Of course, crowding adults on a New York City street did not listen to a three-year-old's pleas that they get out of his personal space. This led to a feeling of helplessness, and he was soon reduced to a crying mess.

Personally, I know that everyday stressors have a more significant impact on my own feelings of mental well-being than major life events. If I start out the day unable to find my keys, out of my favorite breakfast food, and do something like spill something on my clothing, I find it very difficult to cope with the rest of the day. Moreover, I have noticed that if I have a stressful morning, then events that occur later in the day have more of an impact than on days that are relatively stress-free. In that way, I have observed the cumulative nature of stressors, and have experienced how a relatively minor event can undo a person.

Chapter Four: Ways of Coping

Stress is such a pervasive part of everyday life that people come up with a bunch of different methods of coping. Unfortunately, a significant proportion of those coping methods are not healthy ways of dealing with stress. For example, people use drugs, alcohol, and food to help them cope with stress. Even people who do not turn to substances to help them ease stress may deal with stress in an unhealthy manner. Personally, I am a clean-freak. Under most circumstances, I like to have a very tidy home, and I find it difficult to relax if my home is not clean and relatively tidy. However, when I am experiencing a significant amount of stress, my desire for cleanliness increases almost exponentially. At those times, it is not enough that my house be relatively tidy. On the contrary, at those times, I must experience my home as absolutely clean or tidy before being able to relax or being able to concentrate on fixing the stressful issue. I know that exerting control over my environment, even in a seemingly insignificant manner; by making sure that my home is clean is my way of regaining a sense of control and feeling able to tackle larger stressors. However, I also know that it is not the healthiest way to deal with stress.

What I have been trying to do is work on ways to deal with stress in a more direct manner, because I know that my current coping skills are not as constructive as they could be. What I learned from reading this chapter is that constructive coping skills have specific characteristics. First, constructive coping involves confronting problems rather than symptoms. Constructive coping means that one does not engage in excessive self-deception or other forms of unrealistic thinking. Constructive coping starts with recognizing stressors. Finally, constructive coping means that I have to control potentially destructive coping behaviors. For example, at this point in time, my desire to clean when stressed is not constructive, but it is also not destructive. However, I could imagine a scenario where such a desire for cleanliness could be destructive. For example, I had a childhood friend whose mother was a "clean-freak;" her obsession with cleanliness was so severe that she would not permit her children to play in her home.

Looking at the information for constructive coping methods, I realize that I use one of those coping mechanisms on a regular basis. I used to get extremely upset when people made mistakes on simple things. For example, if I went to a fast food restaurant and they made a mistake in my order, I would get really upset. I figured that, with such a simple job, it should be difficult to make a mistake. However, a friend of mine, who is rarely upset by incompetence or mistakes, suggested that I take the approach that every person I encounter working in an environment like that is special needs. She suggested that because she has volunteered with special-needs people for an extensive period of time and knows that they are frequently employed in low-pay, low-skilled jobs. She also knows that they are frequently the targets for people's anger and ire, even though the reality is that a messed-up fast food order generally does not have dire consequences for any of the people involved. Therefore, she suggested that I act as if any person I encounter in a service position has a hidden disability, and that I adjust my expectations and response accordingly. I have found that this approach reminds me that all human beings make mistakes. As a result, I am not so disappointed or angered when someone makes a mistake. Moreover, when someone makes a mistake, even if I do get upset about the mistake, I remind myself to be nice about it. I have found that refusing to dwell on the mistake or take out my frustration by venting undeserved anger at another person results in reduced stress, rather than increased stress.