Coping With Deployments Joining the Military Means

Coping With Deployments

Joining the military means that a person will be basically turning his or her life over to a commitment that is the most serious commitment he or she will make in a lifetime. Whether it is the Marines, the Navy, the Army or Air Force, a member of the armed forces can expect to be sent into harm's way -- or sent to a foreign land where unknown dangers may await. In addition, the military person must deal with the separation from one's family, which creates a great deal of stress for the military member and his or her family. This paper relates to those stresses when deployment comes into play.

Deployments

Each person of course deals with deployment in a different way, just as everyone deals with stress and anxiety differently. On the one hand, an Army PFC knows when he joins that he might have a tour of duty in Afghanistan, but does that make it easier to leave his beautiful wife who is pregnant with their first child? The answer of course is no, it doesn't make it easier just because he knew when he joined the Army his life could change and might change dramatically.

Psychological Resilience

The American Red Cross suggests that because humans are able to change and adjust to new situations, and to see "multiple possibilities to take actions to meet our goals," humans have the potential to build a kind of psychological resilience to danger, to steep challenges, and to radical changes. As a person in the Army is on board a C-130 with many other troops, and the big plane gets closer to Afghanistan, in this case he must connect with others; he must learn to communicate effectively. After all, he has been trained to know how to solve problems, and the powerful emotions he may be experiencing can be turned into a positive if he follows the rules and even works to build resilience.

The ten ways to build resilience are worthy of following: a) make solid connections with others (become close buddies); b) don't view a crisis as an "insurmountable" problem (everything can be solved); c) change, any change, is just part of living; d) set goals and move towards them; e) be decisive, confront each day with positivity; f) look for ways for self-discovery; g) see yourself in a positive light; g) everything has to be kept in perspective; h) being hopeful is helpful; i) be sure to pay close attention to your own needs and desires (American Red Cross).

The Person Left Behind

When a man is deployed and leaves his lovely, cherished wife (who is pregnant with the couple's first baby), now she has to also deal with deployment issues. The www.military.com website offers some positive things she can do. (Of course it could be a woman being deployed and the man in the relationship is left at home to care for children, but in this case the male is deployed and the wife is left at home. There are positive things she can do to avoid feeling too much stress, including: a) simply setting goals (what would like to accomplish before your husband returns from Afghanistan?); b) keep a schedule (the time will fly by if a routine is set), make a point to go out with friends, paint the kitchen (which the two of you have been talking about doing) to surprise him when he comes back; c) treat yourself (give yourself "simple pleasures" like perhaps a pedicure, or a classy haircut); d) "reach out to others" (in your extended family or among the other military wives whose husbands are overseas); e) when you do get the blues, go ahead and cry, but don't mope around for days and feel sorry for yourself; and f) don't listen to gossip; find out the truth about the deployment and stick to that truth (www.military.com).