Business letter to a potential investor visiting Tucson

Deborah Phelps UWM 206x5706 Competency 2: Final Assessment

Dear Ichiro: I am looking forward to your arrival in Tucson in May. Your potential investment in our small company is welcomed and appreciated. I would like to confirm your flight reservations for arrival so we may have personal transportation available to you when you arrive. Flight Information: Date: May 23, 2013 Flight: Delta Flight 235 Comment by Rick S: Departure and arrival cities? Arrival city: Tucson Arrival time: 2 p.m. Mountain Time Comment by Rick S: Is this the arrival time? Once you arrive, go to Baggage Claim and retrieve your belongings. At this point, you can seek a skycap for assistance with your computer equipment and luggage. We will reimburse you for any fees incurred in this regard, as well as any other expenditures. Once you step outside to the limo area, you will find our driver waiting for you. He will be holding a sign with your name so you may easily identify him. We are excited about your possible investment in our small company. We are extremely dedicated to our unique products and strive hard in our production process. Your financial assistance would provide an avenue for us to expand outside of our local area. We predict potential profits would be attainable within two years. I have enclosed a guidebook and map of Tucson as well as brochures on our company. While you look at the guidebook, if there is an activity that interests you, let me know and I will be happy to set up a tour. If you have additional questions about our company before your arrival, contact me via email or fax. Thank you. Ty Smith

Analysis

Audience – The primary audience here is the out-of-country investor, with supervisors and colleagues being the secondary audience. The investor is a non-native speaker of English and needs to be reassured when it comes to his first visit to Tucson. He will be expecting easy-to-understand instructions; complex writing will only prove challenging to comprehend. Therefore, the writing approach chosen is as simple and straightforward as can be to ensure the message gets through to him clearly. Open, friendly communication will motivate him to trust our company and invest in it. Comment by Rick S: Unfortunately, this does not qualify as a developed rhetorical analysis. Each of these sections needed to be developed fully. I discussed this in my feedback on your Final Assessment #1, giving you specific examples of how to approach your analysis of the audience. You don’t seem to have followed that feedback, though. Purpose – The purpose is to confirm investor’s arrival, guide him on how to get through the airport procedures, and acknowledge and appreciate the possible investment. The benefits of the investment to us as well as the investor are highlighted. The purpose of the audience (i.e., the foreign investor) is to follow the instructions that will ensure he has a hassle-free exit from the airport. Care is also taken to ensure the investor feels comfortable in Tucson and enjoys his stay here. It serves to reassure him that his visit will be hassle-free and satisfying. Context – The context is a memo to be sent as an email. Emails need to be clear and concise; lengthy discussions are only appropriate in face-to-face meetings. Logical and Rhetorical Strategy – The strategy in this document is Logos. It is straightforward in achieving its goal of confirming facts of investor’s flight. It also highlights potential profit timeframe. There is slight Pathos in appreciation for investment in the company.

To: Training Director From: Jon Smith Date: September 24, 20— Re: New Training Manual

I have heard from the Development Team that our in-house RAD software system is complete. I would like to implement training for the new system within the next 30-45 days as our projected roll-out date to the entire company is December 31st. The Payroll System Guide you created last year was not only superb, but well-received. However, I am now in need of a training manual for the new RAD system and was sincerely hoping you could do me a favor by taking time out from your busy schedule and developing it. I envision this training manual similarly as the Payroll Guide: concise and user-friendly. Comment by Rick: , Comment by Rick: As the scenario noted, the person is very busy and taking this project on would constitute a favor. However, this hasn’t really at all been presented as a request for a favor. Some of the following how-to segments would be included: 1. Using Templates 1. Creating Documents 1. Merging Documents 1. Importing Data into Spreadsheets I would be greatly obliged to you if you could schedule a meeting within the next week so we can review the specifications for each manual section. Comment by Rick: This was better in terms of being more concise and direct, but it really falls short in terms of persuading the reader to help. It feels mostly like a command.

Analysis