Verbal and non-verbal communication: forms and effects

¶ … Verbal and Non-Verbal Skills in Therapeutic Relationships Verbal and Non-Verbal Skills

What you have learned about verbal and non-verbal skills in therapeutic relationships

I have learned a considerable amount from my experience with non- verbal and verbal forms of communication. This knowledge has been gleaned from my studies and research as well as from personal experience.

One of the aspects that stand out in my mind with regard to these forms of communication is the wide range of non-verbal types of communication and their importance in the therapeutic situation. The importance of these non-verbal actions is mainly due to the extent to which they can substitute for verbal intentions and meaning. I have also come to the conclusion that in many instances non-verbal forms of communication are more subtle and effective in the therapeutic situation.

One of the most important verbal as well as non-verbal forms of communication, in my opinion, is known as attending or warmth. Verbally this can be expressed by agreeing or showing interest in the other person or client and by suggesting through words that one is supportive and "on the same page." This form of communication is important in the therapeutic situation as it tends to break down barriers and awkward conformities between therapist and patient.

There are many non- verbal ways of expressing warmth - such as nodding the head slightly in a sign of understanding and by the attitude or positioning of one's body. This should not be aggressive or cold but open and inviting. There are many examples of this type of non-verbal cue. This type of bodily attitude is the opposite of a confrontational or aggressive stance; for instance, the crossing of one's arms. This may be construed by the observer as a defensive sign. A body attitude that is considered to be "warm" and far more conducive to open expression and interaction could be expressed through facing the observer with open hands and with the palms of the hands facing outward.

Among the many other verbal and non-verbal skills that are of importance to know about in terms of therapeutic relationships are the more assertive and engaging cues and use of language; such as questioning, self-disclosure, genuineness, immediacy and caring confrontation. A particularly difficult but very useful set of skills falls under the rubric of "caring confrontation." This type of skill or behavior is also closely linked to self-disclosure, genuineness and immediacy.

Central to this skill is the ability to communicate one's thoughts and feelings in a way that is respectful of the other person's feelings and does not denigrate or overtly criticize them in any way.

While there are many skills that can be interpreted as confrontational, it is also possible to present both verbal and non-verbal types of behavior that are confrontational but in a way that promotes and conveys sincere and genuine feelings of interest and openness in the therapeutic relationship. In the use of language this means to convey to the other individual that the apparent attitude of confrontation is really an effort to sincerely and genuinely help and assist. The key words here are assertive, calm and concerned.