Motherhood Lionel Shriver\'s We Need

Motherhood

Lionel Shriver's We Need to Talk About Kevin is a poignant work of fiction that fiercely parallels feminist scholarship. In particular, the themes explored in We Need to Talk About Kevin bolster the arguments Adrienne Rich makes in her classic Of Woman Born. Of Woman Born details the ways patriarchal societies oppress women systematically. Motherhood, which could potentially be a source of personal joy and fulfillment, has instead become a means by which to conscript women into unpaid domestic servitude. Molly Ladd-Taylor points out the subtly subversive ways by which motherhood has become politically empowering in Mother-Work: Women, Child Welfare, and the State, 1890-1930. Yet political empowerment is far from Eva Khatchadourian's reality as she contemplates what went wrong with Kevin. The burdensome expectations placed on women to be perfect wives and mothers present serious sociological and psychological problems that are explored in great depth in We Need to Talk About Kevin.

Eva admits she sacrificed a wonderful life, first to be with Franklin and then to raise their child Kevin. In the November 8, 2000 entry that opens We Need to Talk About Kevin, the narrator notes, "In the early days…my tales were exotic imports, from Lisbon, from Katmandu. But no one wants to hear stories from abroad, really," (Shriver 1). The sarcasm and cynicism drip from the narrator's voice. Eva could also tell that her husband cared little for what life she had outside of the home, as if she was a non-entity before Eva and Franklin married. When Eva states, "I could detect from your telltale politeness that you privately preferred anecdotal trinkets from closer to home," she also suggests that Franklin probably should have been the one to assume most of the homemaking duties given his predilection for being a homebody and hers for international adventure (Shriver 1). Eva notes to Franklin, "your view that all my foreign travel was a kind of cheating" drives that point home further (Shriver 1).

Eva fakes self-importance as "the busy professional woman who must make quick work of domestic chores" (Shriver 3). Here, Eva limply ridicules the expectations placed on career women: that they must always work two jobs and put in unpaid overtime at home. Once a proud head of her own company, now Eva has become "exhausted with shame" (4). She had sacrificed her source of creative energy, believing that to continue her career would mean diverting attention from her son. Yet it was precisely Eva's willingness to conform to patriarchal gender roles that defines the dysfunctional and destructive behaviors that characterize We Need to Talk About Kevin. It is unclear whether or not Eva played a role in nurturing Kevin's latent psychopathic tendencies or whether Kevin would have acted out anyway. What is clear is that Eva did not find fulfillment in motherhood as she believed she would or was expected to, leaving her with a sense of inadequacy. Eva has never quite come to terms with the fact that, as Rich points out, motherhood should never, ever define a woman. Motherhood is but one facet of an otherwise rich and fulfilling life.

It soon becomes clear that Eva's views and attitudes toward motherhood are rooted in her own background and relationship with her own mother. Gender roles and norms are passed on from one generation to the next. One of Eve's early letters refers to "the stump of the lock shaft teases me with imitations of my mother: unable to leave the house," (Shriver 4). Eva was painfully aware of the ways that motherhood and wifedom impedes a woman's ability to be independent and pursue a life outside of the drudgery of domestic duty.

Eva currently practices self-inflicted punishment. Although she claims it is to be close to Kevin, she lives in an environment easily perceived as hostile. The suburban sneers she encounters while at the local grocery stores and the dread she feels when she runs out of eggs confirms that Eva may want to punish herself for being a bad mommy. Moreover, the suburban environment that is hostile rather than sympathetic towards Eva reflects the overarching social norm of motherhood. The outside world perceives Eva as a failure, blaming her for the behavior manifest in her son. Yet Eva may have had nothing to do with Kevin's psychological problems. It was Kevin who seemingly rejected her love: in overt ways like refusing breast milk. Breast milk is a quintessential symbol of maternity.

Eva rents an apartment she herself cannot stand, even though she admits she has a choice in the matter. In fact, the apartment reminds her of a dollhouse. "I might have found more palatial accommodation, if that's what I wanted. I like it here, in a way. It's unserious, toy. I live in a dollhouse." This overt reference to Ibsen's play A Doll's House confirms that wives and mothers often are reduced to being children in a make-believe world constructed by patriarchy.

A recent ridiculous lawsuit reflects the themes of motherhood explored in Adrienne Rich's Of Woman Born: an attorney father and his sons sue the mother for "damages allegedly caused when she failed to buy toys for one and sent another a birthday card he didn't like," (Schmadeke). Caricature of the symptoms of patriarchal oppression of women, and the unrealistic expectations often placed on mothers to be all things to all people, to be perfect.

We Need to Talk About Kevin shows how conformity to patriarchal gender roles and norms leads to severe psychological and social repercussions. As Rich puts it, "anxiety, depression, the sense of being a sacrificial victim, all familiar components of human experience, became more than ever the invisible attendants at pregnancy and labor," (152-3). From the time Kevin is born, Eva does not readily conform to social expectations of her role as mother. She admits that holding her child did not feel earthshattering, or nearly as momentous as she expected. Childbirth and motherhood doe not feel like the "mysterious, sometimes polluted, often magical, as torture rack of as 'peak experience'" that many women are taught to expect (Rich 157). When Kevin refuses to breastfeed, Eva knows that motherhood is not going according to the script provided by patriarchy. She hides her anxiety and self-medicates. Eva ultimately and ironically bears another child. The birth of Celia, more than any other event that takes place in the book, shows how fractured Eva's identity has become. Rich would note that Eva has completely succumbed to the restrictive, oppressive gender roles proscribed by patriarchy.

Femaleness ultimately should not be defined by reproduction. To define femaleness by reproduction alone reduces women to the status of a farm animal. The woman is defined by her role and identity as homemaker and mother. If she pursues a career in addition to her career as mother, the woman is perceived as being a traitor in the same way Franklin viewed Eva's travels as a sort of psychic betrayal. "To have borne and reared a child is to have done that thing which patriarchy joins with physiology to render into the definition of femaleness," (Rich 37).

Rich admits that violence is a core component of the motherhood experience, and normalizes Eva's suffering. "We are also, often to our amazement, flooded with feelings both of love and violence intenser and fiercer than any we have ever known," (Rich 37). Although Eva does not exhibit any violence toward her son, Kevin's violence towards his own family and community are symptomatic of a social illness that has been caused by patriarchy.

Franklin's character in We Need to Talk About Kevin encapsulates patriarchy. Throughout her letters, Eva refers liberally to objective behavioral cues that clearly show Franklin's lack of respect for his wife. Franklin belittles Eva when she expresses concerns both for her own feelings towards motherhood but especially concerns for Kevin. The insidiously patronizing Franklin haunts the reader of We Need to Talk About Kevin and highlights the themes extant in Rich's work explicating themes of motherhood in Of Woman Born. Franklin neuters Eva's life by pressuring her to sacrifice everything in her life to be the ideal wife and mother. If any one character is responsible for the downfall of Kevin, it is his father Franklin. Franklin's patriarchal attitudes can be seen as seeding the murderous killing spree: which is but an outward expression of abject hatred and anger.

Eva has trouble distancing herself from Kevin's actions, which is further proof that her identity has become completely subsumed by motherhood. Kevin's actions are extensions of her own. Even if Kevin's actions are only extensions of her own self-perceived inadequacies as mother, Eva believes that the rest of the world views her as the perpetrator of the crime. In one letter, Eva notes that the house sold for $3 million because of the fame and notoriety of their case. The new buyers gossip about the shooting spree and note, "Maybe it seems unfair, but you really gotta wonder about the parents," (Shriver 25).