The question to be answered in this paper was, is it mostly men who have extramarital affairs? The answer (discovered through research) is that woman also have extramarital affairs, especially when it comes to searching for sex online. The reasons that women do seek extramarital affairs is presented in this paper through peer-reviewed research. The answer to the question is no, it isn't "mostly men" who engage in extramarital affairs.
¶ … Men Who have Extramarital Affairs?
Is it mostly men who go out beyond the bonds of marriage and have affairs? Or are women also known to have extramarital affairs? What does social science research tell us about this issue? The literature accessed in this paper found that while in some research more men than women engaged in extramarital sex, women are certainly not innocent in this matter as other research reveals. The answer to the question then is, no, it is not "mostly men" who engage in sex outside of marriage. The available data -- including peer-reviewed, scholarly articles -- suggests strongly that women do indeed have sex outside of marriage, and when it comes to searching for sex on the Internet, women engage in that activity as much as or more than men do. So, the myth that it is "mostly men" is debunked in this paper.
The Social Science Literature on Extramarital Affairs
Going back to 1948 when Alfred Kinsey released his study on the sexual behaviors of males, and to 1953, when Kinsey came out with his report on the sexual behavior of females, the men were seen as most promiscuous. Kinsey was highly controversial because he was delving into a subject that the public was not ready to discuss, but his report showed that "50% of married men" but only "26% of married women" reported having been involved in extramarital sex (Buller, 2005). In 1994 psychologist Michael Wiederman conducted the "General Social Survey of 1994" and reported that 23% of married men had extramarital sex while only 12% of married women did the same (Buller, 279).
Meanwhile in 1995, social scientist from the University of Chicago, Dr. Edward Laumann (and colleagues) determined that 24.5% of married men admitted to having sex outside of marriage and 15% of married women admitted that they had engaged in extramarital sex (Buller, 278). Laumann interviewed 3,432 people for his research. The logic that Buller presents is interesting vis-a-vis the fact that surveys show more men stray from their marriages to have sex. Buller asserts that "…the consensus among sex researchers is that the gender gap is due to a combination of male over-reporting and female under-reporting" as to their respective infidelities (280).
Why Women have Extramarital Affairs
In The American Journal of Family Therapy, a peer-reviewed publication, the authors present a number of models that pertain to extramarital affairs and why women have sex outside of marriage. The article, "An Examination of Potential Attractions of Women's Marital Infidelity," offers these models: a) "need fulfillment" (the woman has sexual, companionship, emotional, intellectual and security needs); b) "investment model" (she wants a partner that provides a more secure investment in a relationship); c) "deficit model" (this relates to dissatisfaction with a shortage of intercourse, lack of communication, and emotional support); d) "Personal Growth/Self Expansion Model" (marriages that do not encourage "self-discovery" cause women to seek a partner who will "partake in different activities") (Jeanfreau, et al., 2014).
The authors interviewed four Caucasian females (from 24 years of age to 51 years of age), all of whom had divorced their first husbands after the women had been involved in affairs. Each of the four women became "actively involved in a relationship outside of their marriage" and in each case the men they were involved with were just friends at the outset. Three of the four women became involved sexually with "either an 'old flame' or friend," and the fourth woman had met a man and they got close and eventually had sex (Jeanfreau, 20).
All four explained that ex-boyfriends, friends and members of their family influenced them as they engaged in marital infidelity; talking with female friends about how exciting it would be to be single again played a role as well (Jeanfreau, 21). "The final component" that led them to cheat on their husbands was "…the positive attention" they received from their partners in their affairs, Jeanfreau explained. "I was more emotionally connected to [the affair partner] than I was to my husband…I could talk to [the affair partner] but most of the time my husband wasn't giving me five minutes a day to talk to him" (Jeanfreau, 21). The other women echoed that sentiment, saying they craved the attention they got from their extramarital affairs.
Online Infidelity -- Women use "Sexting" more than Men
Looking into the scholarly research one finds that women in some cases are more assertive in soliciting sexual involvement than men, but that in other cases men and women are equally drawn to sexual relationships outside the bonds of marriage.
To wit, in the peer-reviewed journal Sexuality & Culture, the authors researched the behaviors of "sexting and infidelity on the Internet" (Wysocki, et al., 2011). Their sample included 5,187 respondents -- all married people searching for sexual partners online -- and using descriptive statistics and "binary logistical regression analysis," researchers found that "…Females are more likely than males to engage in sexting behaviors" (Wysocki, 217). The research also showed that males and females "…are equally as likely to cheat both online and in real life while in a real-life relationship" (Wysocki, 217).
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