Foundational Skills Graduate Program. If Trouble Translating

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Critiquing a piece of writing: Death penalty response

Perhaps the first, most obvious critique of this piece of writing is that the author's position on the issue of capital punishment is extremely unclear. The author begins by stating that America is one of the only nations in the world that still executes its citizens, suggesting he or she is opposed to the death penalty. The author compares the U.S. To Russia and China, two nations with terrible human rights records. True, if Russia and China continue to execute criminals, this hardly speaks well of the practice -- but the author at first seems to imply that the U.S. is worse than these two nations, stating that the U.S. executes more prisoners than either country. This seems unlikely given that: 1. The appeals process for individuals on death row is very lengthy in the states that still allow capital punishment, In fact, one common argument against capital punishment from a financial point-of-view is that because the appeals process is so expensive, it is actually cheaper to keep someone in jail 'for life' than to condemn them to death. But Russia and China do not have equally scrupulous legal systems that protect the rights of the condemned. 2. Not all states have capital punishment in the U.S. 3. China and Russia are much larger nations than the U.S. The comment that "our men are dropping like flies" seems to come 'out of the blue,' and, additionally, not only men have been put to death in the U.S. A better comparison in an essay against the death penalty might be to note that other civilized social democracies, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe, do not practice capital punishment and have similar values to our own society, versus nations that do have the death penalty.

The author's point-of-view becomes even more unclear when he or she cites statistics in FAVOR of capital punishment's deterrent effect. However, there is no evidence about where he or she gets his or her statistics in favor of the deterrent effect of capital punishment, a contention which is extremely controversial. At the end of the post, the author quotes John Stuart Mill, without stating why Mill's viewpoint is particularly relevant to the topic.

The spelling and the grammar of the post has obviously not been proof-read. Even the first sentence exhibits sloppy grammar. There are also random, irrelevant facts inserted into the post, like the exact day of the Mill quote, which makes the response sound like a high school report rather than an argumentative essay.

A better way to format the response might be as follows:

The United States is one of the few remaining social democracies where capital punishment is still legal. The United Kingdom, Sweden, and other nations considered to be moral and just have long banned the practice. To be a part of the European Council, a nation must forswear the death penalty. "The Ukraine, formerly one of the world's leaders in executions, has now halted the death penalty and has been admitted to the Council. South Africa's parliament voted to formally abolish the death penalty, which had earlier been declared unconstitutional by the Constitutional Court. In addition, Russian President, Boris Yeltsin, signed a decree commuting the death sentence for all of the convicts on Russia's death row, in June 1999" (History of the death penalty, 2010, Limiting the death penalty). The nations that lead the world in executions are China, Iran, Vietnam -- and the United States (History of the death penalty, 2010, Limiting the death penalty).

Some people argue that the death penalty is justified because some crimes are so horrible they deserve the 'ultimate punishment.' However, the death penalty is an unalterable punishment, and when someone is found innocent of a crime after a conviction, there is no way to reverse this ultimate punishment. "Currently, over 115 people in 25 states have been released from death row because of innocence since 1973" (History of the death penalty, 2010, Innocence). The death penalty has also been shown to be inflicted disproportionately against African-Americans and other disenfranchised groups, against whom judges and jurors may be prejudiced. Defendants of all races without the financial means for extensive legal support to aid in their defense may be less able to find the resources to fight and appeal a death penalty conviction.