Parents Raise Children Adequately? Single

¶ … parents raise children adequately?

Single parents accounted for 28% of all households with children according to the 2000 Census (DeLeire & Kalil, 2001, p.4). The reasons for this state of affairs ranged from everything from divorce, to unwed motherhood, to the death of one of the spouses. Regardless, the question as to whether single parents can be competent parents is a serious one for a society where single parenting is, if not the norm, then increasingly common. Many adults of the next generation find themselves reared a single parent household, because of an unmarried, divorced, or widowed parent.

Most studies that suggests that economically, educationally, and personally the outcomes for children reared in single-parent homes compared with children in married households is bleaker. Statistics suggest that the children of single parents are more likely to smoke, drink, use drugs, and are less likely to graduate from high school. But this data is often analyzed as if all single parent homes could be subsumed into the same categorization. For example, families with single mothers with children that are multigenerational families exhibit different developmental outcomes relative to children in other types of non-married families, according to the research of Thomas DeLeire Ariel Kalil (DeLeire & Kalil 2001, p.1-9).

These researchers examined data from a statistics on 11,213 adolescents kept by the National Educational Longitudinal Survey (NELS) (DeLeire & Kalil 2001, p.3). The study found that "children in parent-headed families with coresident grandparents fare about the same in economic terms as other children" DeLeire & Kalil 2001, p.5). The issue was not the presence of another parent, but of support -- in other words, it is better to have a supportive individual, regardless of the parent's martial status, helping the parent. This lead the studies' authors to conclude that a positive role model in the form of a grandparent can be better than a negative role model in the form of a present, but emotionally absent or hostile second parent.

Although much in society has changed, the conventional image of family structure preached by the media is that of the nuclear family, namely a father and a mother. However, it is worth remembering that "it takes a village to raise a child," in other words, that even dual parent households require extended family and community support to truly thrive. With this in mind, perhaps it is not so important that a child have two parents, but that a child's parent or parents provide a healthy, supportive environment in which that child can grow and prosper into adulthood.

The main reason for the negative trends associated with single parenthood may not be the 'singleness' but the correlatory, but not necessarily causative, factors that give rise to single parenthood. Single parents are more likely to be young, female, and poor. 90% of single parent households headed by women. "In spite of the women's movement and the increased employment opportunities for women, the economic status of women has actually declined over the past 20 years, largely due to the tremendous increase in female headed families (Burden, 1986, p.37). Interestingly, children of single male parents often have better outcomes in terms of graduation rates from high school, given that these families traditionally have higher family incomes than single female parents because male salary levels are higher and because males are more likely than single females to report additional income from a partner they were living with, as opposed to retired grandparents (Burden, 1986, p.39).

However, this favoring of higher income males in terms of positive outcomes was somewhat mitigated, at least according to another study, when women have strong support structures. In general, single families with larger social support systems enjoyed better mental and physical health. The study concluded that "women tend to seek support and assistance more frequently than males" and both parents can benefit from such supportive structures in their own and in their children's lives (Hanson 1986, p.132). When women reported that their desire for greater social support was satisfied, the outcomes reported for their children improved dramatically.

The negative associations with single parenting thus have more to do with the circumstances that can give birth to single parenting, or are attached to single parenting because of the way our society is structured. In society, we have come to regard the nuclear family as the norm and single parents do not always have the multigenerational support that could give their children positive role models of both genders that they may have in previous eras. Single parents are more likely to be female, and females are traditionally underpaid for their labor. Additionally companies are not always willing to make accommodations for male or female single parent's need for flexible schedules. But the problem is not with single parenting; rather the problem is with how our society views parenthood in general, and women in the workforce. Rather than celebrating parenthood with flexible family leave, and rather than trying to try to establish parity between male and female employees, the state of single motherhood (and fatherhood) is blamed instead.