Conflict Management

Whether at work, school, home, or in our own life, conflict is inevitable. We are bound to experience situations in which we are disappointed by or disagree with others. While some conflict situations end well, others turn out to be bad experiences. Personally, I have had a number of bad experiences with conflict. One situation that comes to mind occurred during my first job. At some point, my supervisor and I had a miscommunication regarding an assignment that involved a new client. The assignment turned out to be more complex than I anticipated. I requested for more time to work on the assignment and the supervisor approved the deadline extension. Nonetheless, closer to the initial deadline, she asked whether the task was complete. She was annoyed that some of the work had not been completed. I was disappointed as she had forgotten that she had granted me a deadline extension. I felt bad. In the next few days, I even had some resentment towards her. The conflict was caused by miscommunication. Indeed, miscommunication is a common cause of conflicts (Raines, 2012). When communication is not made adequately, misunderstandings may arise, creating conflict between the parties involved. Days after finishing the assignment, the supervisor called me to her office to talk about the matter. Seeing how disappointed I was when she could not recall our agreement, she felt remorseful at some point -- she wanted to make things right. We agreed that in future all important changes would be documented in writing to avoid similar occurrences. I was happy we resolved the situation collaboratively. We reached a solution that was favorable to both of us. In conflict resolution, collaboration is one of the best approaches for addressing conflicts as both parties work together to find a mutually beneficial solution (Lawless & Trif, 2016).

Active listening is a hallmark of effective communication. For situations that may lead to conflict, active listening can avoid or minimize the possibility of conflict. Accordingly, active listening is important for maintaining healthy relationships with others. Active listening involves listening to others consciously, understanding their message, providing feedback, allowing others to finish talking without interrupting them, and responding appropriately (Mind Tools, n.d.). Unfortunately, active listening appears a strange thing to most of us -- we are evidently poor in active listening. Recently, I tried to practice active listening with a friend on the bus. We were heading to some destination and we found ourselves talking about politics. When the topic popped up, I found it a perfect time to experiment with active listening. It was quite difficult to put the technique into practice. We frequently interrupted each other, we could scroll through our phones while still debating, and sometimes we could air our opinions in a not very respectful manner. After the conversation was over, I could not even remember much of what my friend had said. What gave me difficulty in practicing active listening is my friend's inability to avoid distractions and to allow others to convey their views. My friend is the kind of people that do not stop talking when they start. In as much as I did not want to interrupt him, I often found myself doing so. My friend could also be distracted by side conversations. It was a great experience all the same. I realized that active listening may not be as easy as thought. However, one can learn to be an active listener (Wilson, 2013). One can learn to pay attention, show appropriate body language, provide constructive feedback, and to assert their views respectfully. I hope I will be a more effective listener in my future conversations.

References

Lawless, J., & Trif, A. (2016). Managing interpersonal conflicts at work by line managers. Irish Journal of Management, 35(1), 74-87.

Mind Tools. (n.d.). Active listening. Retrieved from https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm

Raines, S. (2012). Conflict management for managers: resolving workplace, client and policy disputes. Hoboken: John Wiley & Sons.

Wilson, M. (2013). Active listening. New York: Routledge.