Interpersonal communications: foundations and applications

Interpersonal Communication

Non-Verbal Communication in Social Interactions

The first interaction among couples I encountered was between a receptionist and patient in a dental clinic. As the man approached the receptionist's desk, she smiled at him with a smile that did not reach her eyes and said "Good morning! How can I help you?" In a monotonous, almost robotic, tone. In this scenario, verbal and non-verbal communication is not consistent with each other. While she was saying "Good morning!," which usually indicates pleasantries, the tone she used and the manner in which she said it indicated that she was bored and uninterested. He then said "I'm here for my 10 am appointment with Dr. Lopez." with an expressionless face. Because she greeted him the way she did, he responded by also being unengaged in the conversation. It could have been different had she used a different tone. "Kindly sign this form and wait over there." she answered as she reached for the form and passed it without looking at him. He said "Thank you." while examining the form and quickly moved away. That ended the interaction between these two complete strangers. The tones that they used seemed to be the main factor that defined the conversation.

The second is between a man and woman, seemingly on their mid-twenties, who appear to be on a date in a coffee shop. The man entered the shop and when he saw the woman he was meeting with, his face lit up into a wide smile as he approached her. She smiled, stood up and touched cheeks with the man as an initial greeting. He then touched her on the elbow as they both sat down. "So, how long have you been here?" he said, still wearing a wide smile. "Oh, I just got here." The woman said shrugging her shoulders "Let's go grab something?" she offered still smiling with a quick point of her thumb and jerk of her head towards the counter. He just nodded his head and they both stood up. Here, the non-verbals strongly indicated that these two people are very fond of each other; they could even be at the early stages of a romantic relationship (relationship-level meaning). In western culture, the touching of cheeks generally mean a greeting more personal than a hand shake but less intimate than an actual kiss. Most of the non-verbals they displayed, like the smiles and the touches (which stood out the most among all non-verbals displayed), seem to be intentional but nevertheless unforced due to their apparent fondness of each other.

The third is between two teenagers playing in a basketball in a backyard court. As they were playing, both of them were not taking their eyes off the ball. Once, one of them stole the ball from the other and took a shot which went in. As the ball dropped to the ground, the stealer grinned broadly and raised both his arms while the other one shook his head while looking at the ground. In this situation, both of them exhibited rule-guided non-verbals as in our society, raising your arms usually mean triumph while looking down and shaking your head is a normal response when you suffer defeat. When they got tired, they decided to stop and one of them patted the other's back as they went inside the house. This is an intentional way of saying that they were still friends despite their being competitors on the court.