Resillience in General, Psychological Resilience Is the

Resillience In general, psychological resilience is the manner in which an individual can cope appropriately with stress and adversity. This copy may be the way the individual bounces back to normality after a setback or crisis, or simply a way to put negativity aside and not show stress. Typically, psychologists tend to understand resilience as a process, not as a trait (Ungar, ed., 2005). We must also understand that stress and adversity is a part of life.

It happens to everyone at some time or another, and one of the things we as educators and adults can do to help children is to help them understand that at some time in their life, they will face a loss, grief, or serious issue. Child psychologists believe that children need to learn about all types of experiences that are unique and will help them shape their adult personalities. Many of these experiences are positive and empowering, but there are other emotions children need to learn.

One of these emotions, which has ramifications far beyond just a single event, is grief for the loss of something close to them; a relative, usually a grandparent, or, the most common form of initial loss, their pet. Many times the loss of a favorite pet, whether that be something as simple as a pet turtle or goldfish, or something as complex and long-term as the family dog, the child is affected with a reality that is difficult for them to cognate -- the finality of death.

These experts believe that children tend to draw from three sources when building resilience: I have, I am, and I can. Certainly, every single child does not have all of these coping mechanisms at hand at each crisis, and the way they use them is as diverse as they are -- depending on age, their outlook on life, how attached they were if they are experiencing loss, and their general personality.

When they use the "I Have" feature, they look at their universe and feel good about what they have in their lives -- people, trust, family, examples, etc. The "I am" model focuses on their self-image of being nice, responsible, empathetic, and assured that eventually, things will be good in their lives. Finally, the "I can" model allows them to talk with others about things that bother or frighten them, find ways to solve problems, and figure out how to get help when needed (Grotberg, 1994).

Thus, the first thing any adult or teacher can do is to model and assure the child that these three behaviors can be used at any time -- trust in the adult to talk, to help find solutions and to work through issues. Second, regardless of the situation, it is important to model positive attitudes, positive behaviors, and positive language. Children know if the adult is saying "be positive," but acting in a different way.

When dealing with loss or stress, this can be focused on a "can do" and "win" attitude. If dealing with death or loss, acknowledge the issue, but assure the child that this is a process of life, and that we remember the loved one in our hearts. Finally, research shows that resilient people.