Variables influencing relationship initiation in human communication

Communication and Relationships

Initiation of a relationship is a behavior not unlike other human behaviors. If one takes the perspective of a behaviorist, then identifying the stimulus -- response chains is helpful in determining which variables appear to be most important to certain individuals. Several key variables have been found to play an important role in the initiation of human relationships, including proximity, non-verbal behavior, and physical appearance and attractiveness. The influence and the synergy between these variables in the staging of new relations are discussed further in the sections that follow.

On the street where you live. Assuming that attraction indicates an interest in getting to know a person better, one can assume that there has been some contact between the two people. This proximity is a generally regarded to be a precondition of attraction -- although variants do occur, such as adoration of a movie star from afar and so on. More typical is attraction to people where an opportunity for developing a desired relationship exists, and this is invariably tied to contact which both temporal and proximal in nature.

Did you say something? Non-verbal behavior serves as a signaling behavior for inviting overtures from members of the opposite sex, and the research indicates that human females initiate both the scanning of prospects and the non-verbal behavior that invites contact with attractive prospects. A variable that adds complexity to the this dynamic is that people who are similarly attractive -- that is, are in the same band-width of attractiveness -- are more likely to pursue relationships with each other than people for whom there is a significant difference in their apparent levels of physical attractiveness.

A matched set. There is comfort in familiarity and the similarity of other people can lend a measure of confidence to a relationship. There are fewer unknowns in relationships where people come from similar backgrounds or experiences, and this predictability is generally welcome. In fact, predictability can increase attractiveness in relationships because less energy needs to be devoted to addressing changes. Changes in relationships are often viewed as difficulties and can add stress even when there is no call for worry. Change in relationships is a topic that Sonja Johnson discusses in her book The Ship That Sailed into the Living Room.