Dr Laura Advice on Relationships

Part I
Dr. Laura (2002) discusses stupid behaviors that women engage in when it comes to relationships in Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. The underlying theme of the book is that women need to develop a better sense of self, have more self-esteem and self-confidence, and should not feel so much fear and dependency when it comes to relationships. The biggest mistake that women make, according to Dr. Laura, is that they always find a reason to justify why they are staying in a bad relationship. The book essentially covers ten different ways that women justify their bad relationships by using examples of women who call in to Dr. Laura’s radio show to discuss their issues. Dr. Laura breaks down the calls, the problems the women are facing, and where the women are going wrong in making their decisions. The problems range from attachment to passion to cohabitation and conception. These things in and of themselves can all be good—but when they are employed stupidly, as in the case of many women, they can be disastrous. Dr. Laura clearly explains her topic throughout, making points in a very clear and even blunt manner. She does not pull any punches but is direct and can seem harsh at times—but what she is trying to do is be honest throughout.

Part II
What grabbed my attention about this book was that it was written by Dr. Laura Schlessinger whom I have heard on the radio many times. I always enjoyed her perspective and thought this book would be a good read. My only exposure to her had been over the radio, so engaging with her in print was a new experience for me and one I enjoyed.
Lessons I learned as a result of reading the book were that women need to be patient with themselves and not feel rushed into making bad choices by staying in a bad relationship. A relationship should exist for a reason, and that reason is not so that one person can feed or sponge off the other. A relationship is not all about one half doing all the heavy lifting while the other does nothing to help. It is not all about forgiving and turning a blind eye to faults and failings. As Dr. Laura (2002) writes, “If you bring to the relationship nothing but your neediness, the balance is off” (p. 9). Relationships are supposed to be nurturing, in which two people communicate and love one another. If those elements are not there, Dr. Laura says to wake up and move on. I could apply this information to my own life by being more aware about how I engage in relationships and what to look for. Being happy means being discerning and having self-respect.

Part III
This is a book I would recommend to a friend because I find it has a lot of good common sense in it. I think Dr. Laura has been so successful because she is able to cut through all the confusing episodes that weigh down people in their everyday lives and see exactly what is going wrong and how to fix it. That kind of ability is good for people to get to experience, and this book is very easy to read as well. It flows rapidly and the stories Dr. Laura uses to support her arguments are instructive and meaningful. I know a few friends who would undoubtedly identify with some of the women Dr. Laura describes in the book. I know I certainly identified with a few of them, so I would be very interested to hear what my friends would think of this. I’m sure it would give us a lot to talk about.