1. What is your personal style of conflict? How did you learn that?I tend to avoid conflict as much as possible, which is not necessarily the best approach. Conflict is natural and inevitable and leaders need to develop strong conflict resolution skills to be successful in their field. I learned to avoid conflict as a child, growing up in a chaotic environment. I sought solitude and peace when possible rather than asking for what I needed directly. This has led to unexpressed needs, resentment, and passive-aggressive behaviors that I would like to change. As Holton (1995) points out, all conflict takes place in situations that require interdependence; otherwise the parties would not have a vested interest in the issue and would be detached. Conflict arises because people have different needs or goals, but need to work with other parties in ways that are mutually beneficial. I am now learning how to handle conflict using less individualism, and less competition, and more cooperation. Individualism would have been an approach I have used in the past, as it coincides with my desire to avoid conflict. Now, I have been working on resolving conflicts using collaboration...
I am learning to improve my conflict resolution style by emulating people I admire and working with mentors in the field of education.
2. When have you surprised yourself with how well you handled conflict? How do you account for these instances?
I have been impressed with the ways I have improved handling conflict in my personal and professional life. One occasion, I was upset but used breathing techniques to calm down. By doing this, I resisted the urge to lash out and took my emotions out of the situation as best I could. I focused on the issues, listening closely to what the other person had to say and trying earnestly to understand their point of view. Now that I recognize that conflict occurs when the two parties are on some level required to work interdependently, I realized that it was important to focus on shared goals and mutually beneficial outcomes. I tried to convey the fact that we were both on the same page, and that instead of focusing on the points of difference, we should start by focusing on our commonalities. Doing this helped us…
