A practical book review of Surrender to Love - Expanded Edition (2015) by David G. Benner
I. SUMMARY

Primary goal

The primary goal of counseling comes out through Benner’s definition of conversion and repentance. According to Benner, repentance is shunning the world and giving self to Jesus. On the other hand, the conversion is a life-long journey of change aiming to take the image of God (p. 71-73). The journey of conversion is a summation of the author’s goal in counseling, the transformation in the spiritual being to become Christlike. According to Benner, this journey requires selflessness, unforceful, effortless, and unpretentious love towards God (p. 73).

Development of problems and personal need

The problems and personal needs characteristic to man, according to Benner are as a result of the fact that humans have spurned the love by God to be what they commonly refer to as freedom (p. 27). Humans have constantly sought for freedom, but it has resulted to alienation, bondage, selfishness, and “egocentricity and estrangement from our deepest self, God and others” (Banner, 2015, p.27). the search for freedom caused a breach in the relationship with God and thus, humans are living in an environment of blemished love, where love is given only to receive. As a result, the greatest need for mankind is an unfulfilled longing for relational connections and belongingness.

Biblical integration

In Surrender to Love, the focus is on the transforming love of God, and not the Word of God. It is evident that Benner believes in the Word, which reveals the love of God to man. However, Benner is keen to point out that, belief is not enough and to experience God’s Love, the relationship between God and Man must go beyond belief. According to Banner, Christians have substituted the ideology on theology with religious notions, with the one weakness that, there is no one in their hearts (p. 30). There is a need for humans to move beyond belief to knowing God personally.

Formula for change

Benner formula for change is founded on three aspects purgation, illumination, and union. Purgation is repentance and total surrendering to gods love. illumination is a process for an individual recognizes sin and through sadness, appreciates Gods love and grace. The union is the process of recognition that humans are only safe with Christ Jesus and in walking with God. More importantly, the Author argues that these three stages are non-linear and non-achievable (p. 95), however, the entire process is a product of love that is received freely from God.

Balance of theology and spirituality

According to Benner, God is the creator of the universe and He loves all just as parents love their children...…in one’s heart.

A brief example of counseling moment

A referral was made by a previous satisfied client. The referred was a married woman, her husband was a pastor in one of the churches in the South East. She was broken by the fact that her husband had divorced her after 15 years in marriage, with two daughters. The main problem that the client had was, whether God loved her, and if He did, why would He allow her husband to divorce her. I asked if she loved her daughters when they were born. She looked at me as to say, what a stupid question. I asked her what her daughters had down to deserve her love. she replied nothing. I told her just like her love to her daughters, God loves her even when she has nothing to make her desirable. I then asked if she would stop loving her daughter is they were divorced, even one week after marriage – which is the most embarrassing. She replied she could stop loving her daughters, ever. At this moment, the anger within her had vanished as she looked at her own case, with love, in her daughters’ lives. At this point, she came to the acceptance that it was possible for God to love her, and with the love of God, she was good to…