Comparative analysis of key concepts and applications

A practical book review of Surrender to Love - Expanded Edition (2015) by David G. Benner
I. SUMMARY
Primary goal
The primary goal of counseling comes out through Benner’s definition of conversion and repentance. According to Benner, repentance is shunning the world and giving self to Jesus. On the other hand, the conversion is a life-long journey of change aiming to take the image of God (p. 71-73). The journey of conversion is a summation of the author’s goal in counseling, the transformation in the spiritual being to become Christlike. According to Benner, this journey requires selflessness, unforceful, effortless, and unpretentious love towards God (p. 73).
Development of problems and personal need
The problems and personal needs characteristic to man, according to Benner are as a result of the fact that humans have spurned the love by God to be what they commonly refer to as freedom (p. 27). Humans have constantly sought for freedom, but it has resulted to alienation, bondage, selfishness, and “egocentricity and estrangement from our deepest self, God and others” (Banner, 2015, p.27). the search for freedom caused a breach in the relationship with God and thus, humans are living in an environment of blemished love, where love is given only to receive. As a result, the greatest need for mankind is an unfulfilled longing for relational connections and belongingness.
Biblical integration
In Surrender to Love, the focus is on the transforming love of God, and not the Word of God. It is evident that Benner believes in the Word, which reveals the love of God to man. However, Benner is keen to point out that, belief is not enough and to experience God’s Love, the relationship between God and Man must go beyond belief. According to Banner, Christians have substituted the ideology on theology with religious notions, with the one weakness that, there is no one in their hearts (p. 30). There is a need for humans to move beyond belief to knowing God personally.
Formula for change
Benner formula for change is founded on three aspects purgation, illumination, and union. Purgation is repentance and total surrendering to gods love. illumination is a process for an individual recognizes sin and through sadness, appreciates Gods love and grace. The union is the process of recognition that humans are only safe with Christ Jesus and in walking with God. More importantly, the Author argues that these three stages are non-linear and non-achievable (p. 95), however, the entire process is a product of love that is received freely from God.
Balance of theology and spirituality
According to Benner, God is the creator of the universe and He loves all just as parents love their children (p. 26). However, at the Garden of Eden, man was separated from this love as a result of the rebellion. God sent Jesus Christ to reveal God’s love for man, and amend the broken relationship and bring humanity “…back to love” (p. 28). However, Benner makes it clear that understanding the teaching of love doesn’t transform lives, but experiencing the love of God does (p. 29). Through the methodology of counseling, Benner learns more on spirituality than theology.
Human personality
The absence of God within the human heart results to fear (p. 37-38). To avoid fear, humans seek to avoid criticism and failure and engaging in self-preservation and control of others. avoidance and controlling are the results of a shadow that lies behind the seemingly secure mask that hides guilt (p. 42-43). This is to say, human personality development and the structure need to be deeper than what can be seen and it happens within the heart, where God’s love helps to overcome the self.
Counselor’s function and role
Individuals that are lacking the love of God focus on the self so as to fill the emptiness in belonging and connection. This shift offers no benefits but only suffocating the person and those around him/her (p. 89). On the other hand, the love of God moves an individual from the selfishness to relations with others. in this respect, the role of the counselor is reflecting to reflect the divine role of god to the client, which establishes a buffer for client’s vulnerabilities. Moreover, the counselors unconditional and positive concern for the client helps him/her to open up to God’s love.
Major contribution to counseling
There are research findings that support the positive benefits of spirituality in counseling (Wong, 2018). The primary contribution to counseling by Surrender to Love is the argument that the provision of the love of God creates emotional health. This is in direct controversial with the concept of self-improvement which seeks to manipulate loves God for Christians. According to Benner, the acceptance of the unconditional love of God transforms the Christian, as well as allows him/her to love those around him/her through the removal of selfishness (p. 75). This concept revolves around acceptance of the love of God as the primary transformation agent and not self-improvement to gain the acceptance of God thus, the focus is on God and not the self.
Limitations of this counseling theory
Two limitations are identified from this theory; (1) there is the potential risk of syncretism the emphasis on spirituality overcomes theology, and more so when the individuals decide to focus on experiences that are contrary to orthodoxy. (2) the methodology proposed by Benner has reductionistic tendencies. The love of God is important for transformation spiritually, but the argument that this transformation relies solely on the love of God is probably blown out of proportion. This is because the God-given gifts of mind renewal and righteousness are also important for spiritual transformation.
Classification
The method suggested by Benner is classified as a Christian counseling method. This methodology inclines towards the constructs of Jungian psychology. The main difference is that Benner methodology relies on experience with the love of God, and not the classical psychology methods e.g. cognitive behavior therapy.
II. PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Utilization in counseling and potential influence
The method presented by Benner has useful to Christian counseling. First, it is true that an individual cannot give love unless they first receive and posses love. this truth should in integrated into Christian counseling. According to scripture, God is love and also, the greatest commandment in the Bible is about love, therefore, any authentic Christian counseling must purposely be focused on the love of God.
The potential areas of influence by this methodology are; (1) through experiencing the reality of Gods love, it helps to overcome the requirement to meet specific conditions so as to feel loved. (2) through the unconditional love of God, relationship with other improves as an individual overcomes the need to control others in order to fill the void in one’s heart.
A brief example of counseling moment
A referral was made by a previous satisfied client. The referred was a married woman, her husband was a pastor in one of the churches in the South East. She was broken by the fact that her husband had divorced her after 15 years in marriage, with two daughters. The main problem that the client had was, whether God loved her, and if He did, why would He allow her husband to divorce her. I asked if she loved her daughters when they were born. She looked at me as to say, what a stupid question. I asked her what her daughters had down to deserve her love. she replied nothing. I told her just like her love to her daughters, God loves her even when she has nothing to make her desirable. I then asked if she would stop loving her daughter is they were divorced, even one week after marriage – which is the most embarrassing. She replied she could stop loving her daughters, ever. At this moment, the anger within her had vanished as she looked at her own case, with love, in her daughters’ lives. At this point, she came to the acceptance that it was possible for God to love her, and with the love of God, she was good to go.


References
Benner, D. G. (2015). Surrender to love: Discovering the heart of Christian spirituality. Downers Grove: InterVarsity.
Wong, P. S. (2018, September). Integrating Spirituality into Counselling among Malaysian Counsellors: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. In 3rd World Conference on Qualitative Research (Vol. 1).