Jonze's Her is not so much the impossibility of intimacy as it is the dead-end that intimacy ultimately is. Intimacy is quite possible, as Theodore and Samantha show in the beginning. Just as in any budding love story, it is the unexpected and surprising intimacy that blooms like a new flower which creates the draw, the allure, the charm, the appeal. This intimacy is present between Theodor and his OS -- the two get to know one another on an intimate level. It is what happens next that is really the big issue. Just as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind showed that it is not the question of whether intimacy can occur, it is the question of whether we can tolerate one another post-intimacy. Eternal Sunshine leaves that question open, while Her somewhat suggests that intimacy itself is a kind of noose by which we hang ourselves, our affections, and our loves.I myself feel that Her raises some interesting questions about what it means...

I think that the expectation that we have to find that special someone is unrealistic -- everyone needs attention, love, consideration, tolerance. When we look in ourselves, however, we have to decide if we have what it takes to show that to others. Theodore himself seems to realize this when he pens a letter to his ex-wife expressing the kind of feelings and thoughts he was probably never able to properly express to her when they were married and he had the opportunity to do so. The film is a kind of learning-experience for him in that he grows through his intimate union with Samantha and sees that intimacy is not an end in itself but rather a doorway to something else -- something special -- something of a higher love even.
Indeed, this higher love is alluded…