This reflection examines Hamlet's famous "To be, or not to be" soliloquy as a meditation on fear, mortality, and the human condition. Drawing parallels between the protagonist's existential crisis and the author's own experiences with questions of purpose and meaning, the essay explores why fear of the unknown—rather than logical reasoning—anchors us to life. By analyzing Hamlet's conclusion that fear prevents humans from ending their lives, the author considers both agreement and disagreement with Shakespeare's portrayal, ultimately arguing that obligation and the uncertainty of what follows death sustains the will to live despite life's hardships.
I have lived my entire life contemplating and analyzing my beliefs. Throughout Hamlet, the protagonist is constantly fighting an internal battle. His morality forces him to question his motives. The ghost of King Hamlet instructed him to take revenge against Claudius. Hamlet's initial reaction is to listen to his father and complete the task. However, his ethical thoughts cause him to reflect upon and debate the idea. These thoughts lead Hamlet to feeling helpless. Hamlet revealed his views on giving up during this soliloquy:
"To be, or not to be? That is the question—Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and, by opposing, end them? To die, to sleep—No more—and by a sleep to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to—'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished! To die, to sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life." (3.1.57)
Like Hamlet, I also feel inclinations to question my presence in this world and to ponder what will happen to me once I leave.
I can recall enduring sleepless nights as an adolescent, which consisted of tears, painful thoughts, and fear. I would lay in bed and wonder, "Why am I here?" At the time, I tried to answer that question logically by thinking rationally. I knew I was there, in my bed, staring at the ceiling, because God brought me into this world to be the son to my parents and the older brother to my siblings. However, like Hamlet, I longed to find out more. I wanted to know what my true purpose was.
As a young man then, and even as a slightly more mature man now, I cannot say I have found a definite answer. I still cannot begin to understand why things happen the way that they do. I constantly wonder if I am being tested by a higher power—my God. The testing has been harsh at times, which has understandably forced me to question my existence on a deeper level. What if I were to give up? Do I not have good enough reason to end the suffering I go through in order to live forever in a heaven, which, I have been taught through my learnings, is paradise? If I were to leave, would I be missed? Would my choice have an effect on others? Could I justify my reasoning for giving up?
Hamlet was put in a position where his morals were tested. He had to choose between obeying his father and his king by getting revenge against an evil man, in Claudius, and handling the situation in the "right" way. I have not had to experience a situation anywhere near this extreme. The consequences of my life decisions have, fortunately, been a lot less extreme. I have not been forced to consider murdering another human. How could I possibly justify ending my own life since my misfortunes have been so insignificant? Is it nobler to deal with what life throws at me or to end my time on this earth so that I can leave for another? Although my life experiences have not been as gory as Hamlet's, I still battle the thoughts that question my being.
In the soliloquy, Hamlet explains why he believes people do not end their lives more often. He feels that fear is the predominant reason for making the "calamity of so long life." (3.1.70) He claims that death is the equivalent to sleep—a long sleep to end everything natural to us on earth. The fear, however, is what is dreamt during that sleep. Because no person has been resurrected from death to reveal exactly what occurs, we are forced to believe what we want.
The Bible and other religions tell us that our souls are uplifted to another world, whether heaven or hell depending on how we lived on earth. Science, justly, says that once a human dies and is buried into the ground, the body decomposes. What are we to believe?
These questions were also present in my mind as I laid awake in bed. I also felt fear. According to my religion, I will live forever in heaven after I die. The mere thought of experiencing eternity had brought me to tears. I do not agree with Hamlet when he says that death is like sleep. Sleep is like sleep and death is like death. The two are far from interchangeable. We do not know how death feels until it happens, so until it happens, we should not feel the need to compare it to any experience on earth. So, I feel, to say that the fear of death is the fear of what we will dream is inconceivable.
However, I agree that the fear of what will happen to us and what we will feel is the true reason for holding on to life. I cannot say that I have felt the need to seriously debate whether or not I should end my own life, but the fear of dying at any time and not knowing what would happen to me has been a prominent thought in my mind for as long as I can remember.
Hamlet was a man that, through his experiences, had to question his entity. He endured extremely troubling incidents which may have made him mad. These incidents forced him to beg the question if it would be nobler to live and take on what life threw at him or to commit suicide and not have to deal with life's troubles. He states that fear is the reason for not leaving earth by choice. I agree that the apprehension of not knowing what will happen to us is constantly thought about. I, to this day, live wondering what I will feel after dying.
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