This essay examines Aristotle's position in Book 8, Chapter 7 of the Nicomachean Ethics on whether friendship can exist between unequals. Drawing on Aristotle's analysis of hierarchical relationships — including husband and wife, father and son — the paper explores how unequal friendships function within a socially stratified society. It considers the proportional nature of love and justice in such relationships, the inherent limitations imposed by inequality, and Aristotle's concluding reflections on selfishness, change, and the fragility of unequal bonds. The paper highlights the androcentric perspective from which Aristotle writes and the philosophical tensions his argument produces.
According to Book 8, Chapter 7 of the Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle does believe that friendship can exist between unequals. Although he holds that such friendships are possible, he also maintains that they carry inherent limitations. It is clear from this chapter that Aristotle regards adult males as the most superior members of society. He draws distinct divisions regarding equality with specific reference to age, sex, and position within the familial hierarchy, and all of his arguments proceed from the perspective of an adult male in his prime.
Aristotle appears to be addressing an audience of adult men who occupy positions of social power. In this chapter, he describes several hypothetical unequal friendships, beginning by identifying the parties involved, then describing the nature of each friendship, and offering comparisons among his examples. He concludes the chapter with reflections on justice and equality within all friendships, whether between equals or otherwise.
Aristotle's arguments confirm that friendships among unequals are quite possible. He does warn, however, that because the parties are not equal, they cannot provide the same needs or perform the same functions for one another — and this asymmetry is a defining feature of such relationships. His framework is rooted in a socially stratified view of human life in which different roles carry different capacities for virtue, reciprocity, and care.
Aristotle argues, for example, that friendship can exist between a husband and a wife, even though he views women as inferior. He contends that the wife is not the equal of the husband: she cannot do the same things he can, and therefore he should neither expect the same things from her nor perform the same functions for her that she performs for him. The love and friendship the husband has for the wife differs from the love and friendship the wife has for the husband. That mutual affection very much exists between them, but it is different and unequal because the two parties are themselves unequal within a stratified social order. Aristotle makes a parallel argument regarding the unequal friendship between a father and a son, where differences in age, authority, and capacity similarly shape the nature and limits of the bond.
"Justice, proportion, and limits of unequal bonds"
"Selfishness, change, and friendship's fragility"
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