Searching for Self: Thurman, Nafisi, and Twenge Compared

Introduction: Three Visions of the Self

The rigors and difficulty associated with finding the self, as presented by Robert Thurman and Azar Nafisi, contrast with the idea of selfhood presented by Jean Twenge in markedly different ways. This contrast is underscored all the more clearly by reading Thurman's "Wisdom," Nafisi's selections from Reading Lolita in Tehran, and Twenge's "An Army of One: Me." Thurman and Nafisi are genuinely concerned with an exploration of the self in order to discover a unique identity within the individual. Twenge, on the other hand, writes about the self in relation to selfishness, and largely posits the notion that the preoccupation with self that typifies contemporary society is innately limiting. Quite simply, there is no real difficulty associated with the sort of selfish selfhood that Twenge describes, whereas such difficulties dominate the writings of Thurman and Nafisi precisely because they are about finding a unique identity for the self.

Twenge and the Me Generation's Narcissistic Selfhood

Twenge has become a fairly popular writer in recent times due to her conception of what she calls the "Me Generation." The core of this idea is that people in contemporary times are preoccupied with themselves to the exclusion of others, and live in a world that "celebrated the individual" (Twenge 492). More precisely, the author believes that people in modern times prioritize their own needs over those of others, and that several different facets of contemporary life reinforce this narcissism. The selfhood that Twenge discusses in this essay is therefore largely rooted in a selfishness that is sustained by social mechanisms not necessarily present in earlier eras. She bestows few positive attributes on this preoccupation with the self, because that self is, at its core, about selfishness.

What is perhaps most compelling about Twenge's argument is her claim that the Me Generation's preoccupation with the self is rooted in a sense of entitlement. Her essay is filled with examples of the various ways society has worked — in recent times — to inflate the self-esteem of children and young people to the point where they believe they deserve the best without necessarily having to earn it. This notion leads to what she describes as a "cotton candy sense of self with no basis in reality" (Twenge 57). For instance, she points to efforts to inflate grades and to shield students from criticism as contributing to this effect. The sense of entitlement she attributes to this generation correlates directly with selfishness: because the Me Generation believes it deserves the best by default, it is only natural that its members focus on themselves to the exclusion of others.

Nonetheless, the most significant feature of this entitlement-driven narcissism is that it is ultimately limiting. Members of the Me Generation are so preoccupied with themselves and what they feel they deserve that they never truly expand beyond their own selfhoods. The self becomes the defining point of their identity, and they never seek to explore what else life might offer beyond their own concerns. Twenge views this limitation as a distinctly negative trait, a point she makes unmistakably clear through her references to the Columbine killers.

Thurman's Inner Demon and the Journey Beyond Selfishness

In many ways, Robert Thurman's work represents an antithesis of the conception of the self advanced by Twenge. This is most clearly demonstrated by the fact that Thurman is well aware of the selfishness that naturally encompasses one's identity; however, he is far more preoccupied with a person's ability to move beyond that selfishness in order to seek his or her true identity. Although Twenge does not approve of the narcissistic selfhood she describes, her writing never truly explores anything beyond mere selfishness. Thurman begins his exploration of the self with the notion of selfishness, but treats it only as an entry point into a longer, more profound journey — one that Twenge does not discuss at all. He alludes to this when he writes, "Your falsely perceived, fixated, domineering self is precisely what's getting between you and a fulfilling life" (442). In this passage, Thurman makes clear that there is an obstacle between one's current selfhood and true fulfillment, and that this obstacle is the very selfishness that Twenge describes. The individual must shed these negative, "fixated" attributes — the falsehood created by narcissistic self-absorption — in order to actualize his or her true self.

Thurman also devotes considerable attention to the idea that Twenge centralizes — individual selfishness and its limitations — but he frames it differently, referring to this negative inner force as one's "inner demon." He acknowledges that such negativity genuinely exists within a person and can produce a harmful effect if left unchecked. That is precisely why Thurman argues that people must first free themselves of this inner demon before they can embark on the search for their true self. This is a crucial distinction between Thurman's vision and Twenge's: Twenge's essay begins and ends with selfishness, while Thurman acknowledges it only as the starting point of a process, advocating its destruction so that one may reach what he calls a "new awareness" (752).

Once that inner demon is destroyed, Thurman believes people will discover a fundamental connection with other people, other beings, and the wider world. The demon is a roadblock that, once removed, enables a connection with others that stands in direct opposition to the selfishness Twenge describes — the attitude that "The real person I need to please is myself" (Twenge 492). In Thurman's framework, a person is able to form a true identity and genuinely define the self through a selfless connection with others. This selflessness is never mentioned by Twenge, yet it forms the foundation of the deeper, more meaningful selfhood that Thurman explores at length. The concept of self-concept as shaped by one's relationship to others is central to understanding what Thurman argues that Twenge's account leaves out entirely.

Conclusion: Difficulty, Discovery, and the Limits of Selfishness

There is little difficulty associated with selfhood in the notion advanced by Twenge. This becomes particularly noticeable when one considers the sense of entitlement she identifies as characteristic of the Me Generation. That sense of entitlement is closely tied to a selfishness bordering on narcissism, and it functions as both the beginning and the ending point of the very conception of selfhood she describes. Thurman, however, expands on this in key ways. He acknowledges that a selfish inner demon exists within people, but argues that the real difficulty lies in destroying it so that one's true self can emerge. The rigors he describes are those of a journey that takes a person beyond the inner demon to a self partly defined by connection with others — a journey that leads to a new awareness of the importance of those others in forming one's identity.

Nafisi extends this concept further: her women are influenced and measured by one another, and use that communal context as a mirror for their own individuality. The difficulty of doing so exists largely because of social constructs that compel women to suppress their identities, physical features, and personal characteristics in the name of religious and male-dominated authority. Both the difficulties described by Nafisi and by Thurman are entirely absent from Twenge's account of the self — which ultimately reduces selfhood to selfishness, and nothing more.