2004, the Topic on the

¶ … 2004, the topic on the Oprah Winfrey Show was cheating husbands confess. The guests on the show were Burton and Suzy Farbman, Fred and Mrs. Linda Thornton, and Dr. Gail Saltz. Although the title of the show referred to confessions from cheating husbands, the show actually featured couples where the wives were aware that the husbands had been cheating. The main topic of the show appeared to be how wives deal with spouses that have repeatedly cheated and whether or not those marriages can be saved.

The first guests on the program are Burton and Suzy Farbman. Burton cheated on his wife with three different women over a period of 15 years. The couple had previously appeared on an Oprah Winfrey show in which they discussed the history of infidelity in their marriage. Their sons, Dave and Andy, also appeared on that show. The approach used by Oprah when opening the discussion with the Farbmans was introductory. It was clear that the Farbmans and Oprah had a pre-existing relationship.

Oprah gave them introductory material, by providing excerpts from a previous show in which their sons were discussing the effects that their father's affairs had on their lives. Oprah then makes a statement about Burton's position on the affairs. Burton affirms the statements. Oprah then engages in two types of approaches that would seem likely to cause Burton to stop speaking. The first thing she does is that she interrupts him and completes his sentences.

The second thing she does is to interrupt him and show him her disbelief about a statement that he has made. By doing so, she reproaches both his behavior and the statements that he has made about his behavior. At this time, Oprah notices that a woman in the audience is nodding her head. Oprah speaks to the woman, who gives a short account of her experience discovering her husband's betrayal.

Most noticeable is the fact that the woman issues a disclaimer; unlike the Farbmans, she discovered her husband's infidelity on her own, which is why she believed that she could not reconcile with her husband. The audience member also makes a statement that she does not believe she could forget her husband's infidelity. In response, Suzy makes a disclaimer; she explains that she has not forgotten, but that forgiving her husband was an act for herself.

At this point, the audience sees another approach by Oprah, which she uses frequently in her shows; she makes a statement to Suzy about what a group of people wants to do. After getting an affirmation of her statement by her guest, Oprah then leaves it open for Suzy to go further into further detail about her statement.

By making a statement about what people would usually want to do, Oprah leaves an opening for her guest to first explain how she initially wanted to act like most people, and then why she chose to engage in a different type of behavior. Interestingly enough, it is at this time that Oprah calls upon another audience member. The audience member reproaches Suzy, by claiming that Suzy is both living in an illusion and setting a bad example for young women.

In response, Oprah reproaches the audience member by making the point that sometimes people are just living their lives, not trying to set an example. To illustrate her example, Oprah uses the example of Bill and Hillary Clinton. Oddly enough, it is at this point that the audience member offers her own disclaimer; she tells Winfrey that things are different in D.C. And appears to excuse infidelity that occurs there.

Oprah then goes on to explain to the audience member, and to the audience at large, her understanding of Suzy's previous account of Barton's infidelity. More so, Oprah then goes on to explain the reasons behind Suzy's actions. In this manner, Oprah offers a partial disclaimer; she explains the reasons behind Suzy's decision to stay with Barton, but also admonishes her audience not to let anyone be their model.

The second set of guests on the show is different because, unlike the Farbmans, the Thorntons have not come to a resolution about the husband's infidelity. They are introduced by an excerpt setting up the details of their situation. Oprah takes a different approach with the Thorntons than she did with the Farbmans. Oprah immediately begins reproaching Linda by making statements that there were red flags about Fred's behavior and that Fred was being blatant about hanging out with his girlfriend.

In response, Linda offers a disclaimer, stating that she never had a clue. Then, Linda reproaches herself by stating that she should have known. Fred ends the excerpt by stating that he cannot promise that he will not have another affair. In response to that statement the audience boos, and that is how Fred and Linda meet the audience, in a chorus of boos. This technique is interesting. Oprah and her producers decide how to arrange the introductory clips.

In the scheme of things, Fred's behavior has been much better than Burton's; Burton cheated on Suzy for 30 years with three different women. Fred only cheated for five years and with one woman. However, Oprah decided to introduce Fred right after showing a clip in which he indicated that he might cheat again. It is at this time that we hear the first real apology in the segment; Fred says that he would be booing him, too.

Fred then makes the statement that he is going to be the type of man his wife can trust. Fred then offers an account of his behavior, which is meant to explain to the audience why he cheated on his wife. He explains his affair in terms of an addiction and also tries to explain that people involved in an affair give each other their best.

Oprah also uses another interesting approach to get Fred to be open with additional information; she reminds him of the things that Burton said in the previous portion of the show and opens the doorway for Fred to agree or disagree with those statements. In this way, Fred feels that he is not alone in his feelings and is able to give an account of how he felt about ending his affair and the fact that he missed his mistress.

Oprah then asks Linda how she felt about that, and Linda offers a disclaimer that Fred was actually missing the excitement rather than his mistress. Oprah reproaches her for that, by asking if one is better than the other. However, Oprah then returns to her previous technique of going back to statements made by Burton about deception. In fact, she calls upon Burton to explain his statements, and then gives Fred the chance to agree or disagree with Burton's statement.

Oprah leads the conversation around to a discussion about a phone call that Fred just received from his mistress. Oprah immediately reproaches him; he has been talking about trying to re-build the relationship with his wife and she wants to know how he plans to do that when his mistress is still calling. Fred then explains a little more about the affair and about his lingering feelings for the other woman. Oprah then approaches Linda with an open-ended question, aimed at getting Linda to explain why she tolerates such behavior.

Linda offers her own disclaimer; she tells Oprah that the affair was about Fred, not about her, and that she does not take the affair personally. In addition, she defends her marriage and her choices by stating that her life is actually pretty good. However, she also takes the opportunity to use an attacking approach against Fred, by stating that Fred does not know how to love. Oprah does not seem to agree with Linda's explanation.

In fact, she highlights the facts of the situation that argue against Linda's explanation, and then flatly asks Linda if she is in denial. In response, Linda agrees that she may be in denial. However, that agreement is immediately followed by a disclaimer from Linda that she knows Fred, she knows what happened, and that she is not denying what happened. It is at this point that the audience sees Oprah take yet another type of approach; she brings in an expert, Dr. Saltz, to discuss the Thornton's marriage.

Oprah uses the expert's opinion of the Thornton's marriage to back up her own opinion that the marriage is unworkable. In speaking to Linda, Dr. Saltz takes an interesting approach; Dr. Saltz contradicts what Linda has said and goes further than Oprah, other guests, or audience members have been willing to go in that she calls Fred's behavior abusive. In response, Linda makes another disclaimer. First, she states that she shares culpability about the affair.

Linda gives an account of her marriage prior to her discovery of the affair, and explains how she believes her behavior led Fred into the affair. Fred agrees with some of what Linda is saying, by agreeing that her apathy fueled his desire to continue with the affair. In order to encourage Linda to continue giving her account, Oprah defends Linda's right to make a choice.

However, Oprah then shows an excerpt from a video diary that Linda has kept about when Fred is not at home and about the phone call from his mistress. After showing Linda the obvious anguish that she experiences when she does not know where Fred is, Oprah then confronts her, but in a gentle manner.

Oprah simply asks Linda, "And life is good that way?" When Linda tries to use another disclaimer to push aside the concerns by explaining that Fred does not frequently leave the house anymore, Oprah has clearly reached her limit and asks for Dr. Saltz to come back into the discussion. At this point, Dr. Saltz takes an interesting approach to Linda. She calls Linda the consummate victim. In doing so, Dr. Saltz may have appeared harsh, because Linda has played the role of victim throughout the television show and Dr.

Saltz did not approach her in a gentle manner. However, this approach was actually a reproach; Dr. Saltz was showing how Linda was responsible for allowing Fred to treat her in such a manner. Dr. Saltz also reproaches Fred for using Linda's willingness to be a victim. Dr. Saltz ends by attempting another type of approach; Linda had previously talked about how her child was her life, so Dr. Saltz makes a statement that the marital situation is horrible for her child.

This opens up the door for Linda to give her account of her stepdaughter's reactions to her father's affair. Oprah uses Linda's account to approach Fred about his behavior. Fred explains that his daughter read him the riot act, and prevented him from leaving the home. However, Fred has previously acknowledged that he moved out to live with his mistress. Oprah.