Part One: Single female ISO single male. Creative, ambitious, fearless, and passionate professional female seeks a partner with similar values. Ethnicity/race/socioeconomic class is irrelevant. What matters is a dedication to making the world a better place. I do prefer no baggage and no children from a previous relationship. Although we both may have parents with traditional values, they understand that our lives may look different from theirs and they will not pressure us to get married or have children before we are ready. You are not constrained by religion but neither are you cynical. You are as independent and free-spirited as I am, yet interested in a monogamous relationship. Together we can do more than we ever could on our own, and we thrive in each other’s company. We travel together, but we also maintain a home base near to our friends and family. I do not own property but intend to one day after saving enough money of my own and establishing my career.

Part Two: Mosuo female ISO walking marriage

As our culture is threatened by the hegemony of the nuclear family model, we need to maintain our traditions. I am a Mosuo woman with two children who is currently seeking partnership in the form of a traditional walking marriage. I own a sizeable piece of property including fertile farmlands across many acres, as well as livestock. My maternal family has remained entrenched in our community. I take regular trips to Lijang, have several thriving businesses, and have no interest in a marriage relationship. You are a strong, physically fit, energetic, sexually active man of any age who is simply interested in enjoying our time together with no strings attached.

Part Three: Compare/Contrast

The Mosuo model of “walking marriage” is unlike any other, different not only from other Himalayan or Chinese societies but also other societies across the globe and throughout time. Yet the Mosuo “walking marriage” bears striking resemblance to the modern and sexually liberated concept of sexual relationships that do not take place within the confines of the established patriarchal norms. As Coontz (2005) points out, “as both a social institution and a personal experience, marriage has changed more in the past 30 years than the preceding 3,000 years,” (Coontz, 2005, p. 1). These changes have taken place predominantly in Western/technologically advanced societies. Many of these changes are starting to resemble the Mosuo model, which...

For the Mosuo and other traditional societies that are only now beginning to change, models of marriage have remained largely intact because their economic and political systems have also changed very little.
Marriage is a social, economic, and political institution. This is true both for me and for the Mosuo, even though in our ads it seems we are looking mainly for a love marriage. Increasingly, though, marriage is becoming viewed less and less as a social and political institution and more and more as a personal choice. Marriage is often still an economic institution even when we are unwilling to admit it. I expect that my partner and I will share our household chores, just as the Mosuo woman expects that her male companion will share in their chores.

For the Mosuo wanted ad, as well as for my own, the primary objective is companionship. Partnership does entail mutual respect and responsibility, but does not necessarily mean a gendered division of labor. The Mosuo do often exhibit gendered division of labor, mainly with regards to childrearing duties but also due to the need of hard labor in the village. Yetif women can do the same work, they will. Likewise, I do not perceive a gendered division of labor as something that is strict but something that happens naturally as each person does what they can to contribute to the household or to their community.

The importance of childrearing may be the most significant difference between my ad and that of the Mosuo woman. A Mosuo woman does not necessarily have as much leeway or choice regarding her role as a mother. In my society, a woman does feel pressured to have children but can make the choice to not be a mother. As I indicated in the personal ad, I do not want to feel pressured by my partner, his family, or my own. I would like the choice to not have children, and to not feel constrained by an obligation to do so. At the same time, I would like to have children on my own terms and to raise children in a partnership situation similar to that exhibited in the walking marriage model.

Mosuo men will often serve as temporary or even permanent caregivers of children, even children that are not their own. Men are simply part of the community. Actually, the same is true for men in my own society. Many men become step fathers, rearing children that are not their own in exchange for the companionship and love they share…