Curiosity the Popular Saying "Curiosity

Curiosity The popular saying "curiosity kills the cat" is meant as a warning against snooping where one is not intended to snoop. This negative connotation to the basic human trait of curiosity, however, could be a little unfair. In a variety of human relationships, both Moss (2013) and Shwarz (2013) suggest that curiosity is not only healthy, but also essential. This is also true for life coaches.

In couples counseling, the coach would, for example, display a curiosity of his or her own while also attempting to excite curiosity in both clients regarding each other and the motivations they have for the behavior that caused trouble in the relationship. In order to enhance curiosity in a coaching situation, Moss (2013) suggests asking "open" questions, by which she means questions that do not have a particular answer. These questions are based upon a sense of curiosity about the client.

Hence, a coach asking such questions can display a sense of genuine curiosity, while also stimulating the client's ability to critically examine him- or herself. In a coaching situation where a couple are my clients, I would therefore start by asking each of them open questions, using my own curiosity to understand the core of their coaching needs. I would, for example, ask them about the process the led them to become coaching clients, what their needs are within the coaching situation, and so on.

Secondarily, I would attempt to stimulate their curiosity about each other. I would, for example, ask them to create open questions that they can ask each other. Without avoiding any conflict situations that led them to my office, I will not simply ask them what these are, but to ask each other questions about the specific conflict.

Questions could include how each feels about the conflict, and what solutions they could come up with to mitigate it, what they can learn from it, what they can learn from each other, and so on. These questions will stimulate not only the couple's curiosity about each other, but also their ability to communicate more effectively. Focusing on team leadership, Moss (2013) adds to the open question that the coach or leader must also be willing to display transparency.

In other words, rather than just asking questions, the leader must be willing to share his or her own opinions. In a couples counseling session, it my be advisable that the coach does not raise too many of his or her own opinions, but rather stimulate the client to access the elements that have led to the current situation. Both clients, in interacting with each other, can then be stimulated to share their opinions while asking the other open questions that display genuine curiosity.

Doing this is particularly important if the couple is faced with a specific conflict. One partner can, for example, discuss his feelings about the conflict and how the other partner makes him feel when she does or says certain things. This transparency must be complimented by an open question that shows genuine interest in the listener's opinions about the conflict, reasons for her actions, and so on.

As such, curiosity can stimulate a deep and critically intense conversation during which both participants will learn more about each other and their situation. By being able to truly communicate about the conflict or needs at hand, both partners will then.