Once again, this is partially due to the tonality of Chinese language, and its relatively limited vocabulary and reliance upon intonation and contextual meaning. The brusqueness Fallows noted was also due to the paradoxical Chinese notion that because intimate relationships are so valued, one sign of intimacy is eschewing the use of please and thank-you: "To someone who grew up learning all the 'pleases' and 'thank yous' of polite English, Chinese as it is spoken between family and friends can sound extremely terse and direct" (Fallows 2010). In Chinese, when offered a glass of water, an individual will simply say the English equivalent of 'no' or 'I don't need it,' rather than 'no thank you' as would be acceptable in and American context (Fallows 2010).

Fallows' experience illustrates how, conversely, it might be quite difficult for a Chinese person to assimilate to the U.S. An individual might come across as being very rude to a friend when blurting out 'no I don't want it,' while the native Chinese speaker believed he was establishing intimacy. Using 'pleases' and 'thank-yous' in Chinese is seen as setting up a distance between the speaker and listener, not unlike saying 'Mr. Jones' rather than 'Bill' when addressing a friend.

The relatively few words and the importance on being direct and simply understanding that what seems rude is actually a way of showing respect means that an outsider to Chinese culture can find it difficult to internalize Chinese social rhythms without long-term personal observations of the language in action. Fallows said that she never did fully lean how to 'dream in Chinese,' and contrary...

Culturally the language poses a challenge for a Westerner to penetrate because of its linguistic and social diversity, and its reliance upon knowledge of a social hierarchy and social subtleties when generating meaning. The language itself can also create barriers. This is true of almost all of the world's famously difficult-to-learn languages, including Japanese, Russian, and Arabic. The language establishes a veil of understanding that can be difficult for an outsider to penetrate. One must be a cultural insider, to some degree, to use the language to communicate even on a basic level and still devote many years of study to understanding the grammar's mechanics. Perhaps the funniest example of this, noted by Fallows, occurred when ordering in a restaurant. This experience, which likely could have been easy navigate in France by someone who had studied the Romance language on a basic level, demanded a long and elaborate pantomime by Fallows. She was unable to say the word dabao (to take out) with the correct intonation and phrasing, even though her contextual meaning (standing in a Shanghai Taco Bell) should theoretically have made her desire to eat the food quite evident.