" "Oh crap."

"I saw Michael last night."

"And…"

"Well…"

"Well what!"

"We went to dinner."

"And what?!"

"You really want to know?"

"I thought that was over!"

"I can't see you anymore."

"You've got to be kidding!"

"Sorry"

"Why?"

"I'm a glutton for punishment."

"I'm not." He turned his back and walked slowly out the door.

Dialogue Two:

The iPhone Boogie

"I want an iPhone 5 for Christmas Daddy." She waited expectantly as they rode in the car.

"You're eleven." He replied evenly, "Why do you need an iPhone of any number?"

"Madison has an iPhone." She was sure he'd see the logic.

"Then let Madison's parents buy you an iPhone." He tried to sound reasonable.

"But I want an iPhone for Christmas Daddy," major pleading, minor whine.

"I'll make a note of it."

"Really." Major sarcasm.

"And I want...

But you can't always get what you want."
"Madison gets what she wants. Her parents care about her."

Low blow. She was firing guilt trips over the divorce. He held tough. "Go live with Madison's parents."

"But Daddy, I need an iPhone!" Major whine.

"Ain't gonna happen."

"Mom will get me an iPhone 5."

"When elephants fly!"

"You don't love me!"

"You don't clean your room." A mistake.

"If I clean my room will you get me an iPhone 5?" She was on it like a dog on a hydrant.

"Do birds have lips?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means even if you clean your room, which you're supposed to do anyway, there's about as much chance of me buying you an iPhone 5 as a snowball has in hell." Total parental exasperation had been achieved.

A long silence. "You cussed."

"Oh for Christ's sake! Why do you want an iPhone 5?

"That's OK Daddy. You don't have to get me an iPhone 5...you can get me an iPhone 4S."