two different assignments peer reviews

Peer Assignment

Response to Bryan Robbins

The explanation of pathos, ethos, and logos is clear and concise. The thesis statement is a run-on sentence. It would be best to break it down first and then simplify. For example, “While all news is protected under freedom of speech, something must be done to curb this trend of “fake news.” Unfortunately, media and governments across the world produce various types of “fake news.” It is critical that citizens should be able to recognize fake news and rise above it instead of believing everything they hear.”

In spite of the weaknesses with the thesis, the claims and rebuttals are good. The second claim is particularly interesting: the one about how people are more prone to believe something is fake if it does not align with their opinions, attitudes, worldviews, or beliefs. It is also helpful that you introduced the concept of free speech. Because free speech is protected, citizens need to be even more personally responsible for their own media literacy.

Response to Kelly Evans

The description of pathos and ethos are unconventional. Ethos is often a disposition towards a group, and pathos is sometimes about using a personal experience, but not always.

The thesis statement is solid, but needs some grammatical work. It should read, “Many military personnel find the transition from active duty to civilian life difficult for multitude reasons such as access to medical care, failure to adapt to their new lifestyle, and being able to find a viable job.”

Claim one is problematic because of the statement, “success or failure in the job search is primarily the result of an individuals focus, effort, and luck.” It will be difficult to find textual support for these claims. Claim two seems like a myth you are trying to bust in your paper, rather than a claim. In other words, claim two is more of a counterargument.

Peer Assignment 2

Response to Symphony

The first paragraph is generally good, but there are some grammatical problems such as this sentence: “The evidence must be reliable and credible information this is called logos.” You need to place a semi colon after the word “information.”

Likewise, your revised thesis statement is grammatically incorrect. It should read something like this: “Common Core standardizes curricula across all states, helping students transition to college effectively.”

Your claims and counterarguments are logical, but also need some polishing. For example, the counterargument should read something like this: “The Common Core has led to a wide learning gap among students who are not transitioning properly.”

Response to Devon

Your body paragraph needs a lot of work, and does not make sense. For example, you write, “Body cameras may help prevent police from unreasonable use of force, but can also help police apprehend suspects more effectively.” You also say, “There are not many reasons for having body cameras,” but later you say, “having body cameras could do everyone good.” You contradict yourself. Also, to “do everyone good” is too general a statement, and it would be much better if you could be more specific. It might help to outline your ideas, as it seems that you are rambling. Simply list the main reasons you support the use of body cameras, such as their association with reduced use of force, and their help in settling courtroom controversies.