Effects of Technology on Relationships

Relationships and the Internet

The Internet has created the opportunity for people all across the planet to form relationships that can be every bit as personally satisfying as so-called "traditional" relationships. Social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, and a variety of others have allowed people to engage in relationships through the Internet but Alex Lickerman argues that it can generate problems for people who partake in this activity. In his article "The Effect of Technology on Relationships," he stated, "The problem, however, comes when we find ourselves subtly substituting electronic relationships for physical ones or mistaking our electronic relationships for physical ones." (Lickerman) However, a recently published scientific study has concluded that 21st century society is currently in the process of reconfiguring the way relationships are structured and these reconfigurations "are working alongside offline practices to provide greater choice and opportunity, and in many senses fulfilling an oft-held promise that the Internet will bring people together and increase social (and even romantic) connections." (Hogan 33) Therefore, Lickerman seems to have an older, out of date view of Internet relationships that may come from a time when there was not enough data on the subject and opinions were somewhat skewed against a new and misunderstood technology.

The main point Lickerman attempts to argue in his article is that online relationships are not as fulfilling as "real" relationships. However, this view assumes that the "real" relationship is the traditional one where two people meet and get to know each other through face-to-face interactions. Dating traditionally involved two people spending time together and the exchange of personal information when the two were in proximity to each other. Lickerman seems to believe that this is the only kind of relationship that can bring personal fulfillment to either of the people involved. But this view of relationships fails to take into account the "long-distance" relationship that, in the past, has been conducted mostly through letters. Before the advent of modern technology, people often maintain personal relationships with others through the writing of long and often very personal letters. While many people in the modern world use abbreviated forms of communication, for many, including myself, the writing of a carefully constructed letter, even if it is sent through email, is not only a pleasure but a means to maintain strong personal ties with others.

There are many dangers involved with communicating through the internet but I must disagree vehemently with Lickerman when he argues that because people view online relationships differently than "real" ones, they act differently. He believes that the Internet makes it easier for people to deliver "bad" news so that they can avoid a face-to-face confrontation. And while this may be the case with some people, myself and many of my friends simply would not feel comfortable avoiding the responsibility of our actions even if it meant a confrontation. Therefore, Lickerman's contention that people behave poorly on the Internet because there is no face-to-face confrontation may only be the case for people who are irresponsible and normally avoid responsibilities.

However, as the nature of the modern world changes so to is the nature of online relationships. For some these may be a means to escape the "real" world and the relationships that one can find in it, but for many people online relationships are their connection to the "real" world. Because traditional dating requires people to meet face-to-face, online dating sites are increasingly being used by people who find it difficult to find compatible partners within their geographical area. The Internet allows for a much wider field of potential partners than one could find by pursuing traditional dating methods. This is especially true for middle-aged people as studies have found that "about 36% of people forty and above found their current partner online." (Hogan 11) When a person is allowed a much greater pool of potential partners, the chance that they will find a partner that is truly compatible increases; which in turn increases the chances for couples to engage in meaningful relationships.