Teaching children through example and parental honesty

Kids Say the Darndest Things

In the 1950s, and again in the 1990s, there was a popular television show called "Kids Say the Darndest Things." The interviewers would ask children questions about life or current events, anything really, and then showcase the interesting take that children had on life and the world around them. A good example comes to mind from the most recent incarnation of the show, in which the host, Bill Cosby asked an eight-year-old named Ricky how he would make a marriage work. Ricky replied that he would "tell my wife that she looks pretty even if she looked like a truck." These candid statements were hilarious, but also show the honesty with which a child perceives the world, and also shows us how our children are always watching us and basing their behavior on what we do. Ricky has learned in some way, perhaps from his father, that in some cases honesty is not always the best policy. In what other ways do children learn from observing what we do?

We encourage our children to tell the truth, and punish them when they do not. Is everyone here so sure that they practice what they preach? As in the case of Ricky, are we willing to tell the white lie to save feelings, to keep peace in the household? We learn that we should practice what we preach. We all know that in our interaction with children and others, we set an example to those around us, and we can chose whether we set a good example or a bad one. Many of us feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of leading by example, and would rather defer this responsibility to another - a teacher, a pastor, another parent or family member. What we must remember is that the influence which we have on others is under our control only in how we present ourselves to the world. We cannot tell a child or anyone else to do as we say and not as we do, because that in itself is an influence and melds the thoughts and behaviors of others. We cannot shun the responsibility of influence any more than we can live without breathing. Perhaps by thinking of the responsibility of influence as a right and a privilege, it is easier to sometimes tell the truth.

The responsibility of influence is ongoing. Our children learn by repeatedly seeing action, and this in turn helps them to form character. When our children see us being honest, then they learn that honesty and truthfulness are the norm. We are helping our children when we do so, since we help them to form a fine character.