Spiritual Leadership and the Role of Self Knowledge in Accepting God's Grace
Barton (2018) describes the soul as that “part of you that is most real—the very essence of you that God knew before he brought you forth in physical form” (p. 13). For me, this definition makes perfect sense and I cannot see any way to improve upon it. The soul is the essence of the self: one can think of oneself in so many different ways but unless one is really tuned in to one’s soul he is not going to be understanding himself perfectly—i.e., the way God understands him. Part of what keeps us from God is this lack of self-awareness. Instead of realizing and addressing our weaknesses or the issues that cause the soul to be dragged down, we cover them over and apply slipshod solutions in an attempt to keep going in the way we are going. A soulful self-examination will reveal that change is often needed, and change is often hard to do. Yet to grow nearer to God, to do God’s will, and to be after God’s own heart requires simplicity and humility, and it very often requires that we strip away from ourselves the pre-conceived notions we have of ourseslves—i.e., the old man—and allow God to make us after His own heart. The desire to cling to some aspect of personality or some perception of the past can be strong and can prevent me personally from getting over that hump in my spiritual journey that keeps me back. God is calling all of us, and He is calling me, and part of heeding that call is letting go of the cries of the self, which are like the cries of a child for some sweet or some toy. Children look for consolations and instant gratification of the senses. But as St. Paul tells us, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). This paper will show what it means to “put away” the childish things and address the manful aspects of spirituality and leadership that I aim to address in my own life. It will begin with a discussion of my soul and leading assessment, and follow with supports and challenges related to both. Finally, it will discuss the implications of these insights for my leadership.

My Soul and Leading-Assessment

The three indicators that most concern me after taking the Assessment for Leaders tool are: firstly, that I find myself often “rushing from one thing to the next without time to really pay attention to what’s going on in and around me”; second, that I sometimes notice that I am merely going through the motions of the Christian life—i.e., “championing things that I am not currently experiencing in my own life, manufacturing emotion that I am not feeling, engaging in kingdom action but aware that sometimes I don’t really care”; and, thirdly, that I sometimes feel deep down that I have lost touch with who I am in God and what he has called me to do” (Barton, 2018, p. 242). There is a common characteristic to these indicators: they reveal a shallowness of intention and fervor; instead of focusing on my service to God and taking satisfaction in that service I move from one work to the next in an effort to be busy. As a result, I do not feel any strong interest in working for God; rather, I seek distractions in other work. The issue that needs to be addressed here is that I need to ease up from other work and allow myself to do God’s work even if there is no immediate emotional impact. I should take solace in knowing that I am working for God. But first I need to discern what that work is that God wants me to do.

As Barton (2018) states, “the soulful leader pays attention to such realities and the questions that they raise rather than ignoring them and continuing the charade or judging himself or herself harshly and thus cutting off the possibility of deeper awareness” (p. 25). This is an important point to consider because it reminds me that even when I uncover my shortcomings I should not be so harsh on myself that I cut myself off from addressing them in a positive way. Too often people see their flaws and then turn away from themselves in disgust and never address them but rather go back to burying their heads in the sand. The soulful leader must not do that and must instead be patient with himself and understand in humility that Rome was not built in a day nor all the disciples of Christ converted all at once. Conversion is a process that leads one to God but it is a road that is fraught with peril. Perseverance is crucial to success (King, Altman & Lee, 2011).

When I have experienced Loss of Soul or something not quite right at the Soul level, I notice that it is usually when I am caught up in bad and unhealthy habits like drinking too much alcohol or eating unhealthy foods. I understand and believe that a healthy mind-body-and-soul balance is crucial in order to be completely in soul, as John Wesley explains in his holistic style of healing. Christian spiritual formation really is a holistic concept that should incorporate good physical health habits with good spiritual health habits (Chandler, 2014).

The challenges of the Spirit that resonate with me right now are related to the indicators discussed above: mainly the challenge is staying involved with my soul. I don’t have a problem getting the soul to show up. Rather, I have a difficult time getting into working the system and learning how to speak in fruitful ways. It is like the soul is there and ready to go but I...…increased right alongside my success in life, I do not let it faze me in a negative way. The main challenge for me is that I have found myself clinging and grasping unwisely at those who may not have the spirit to walk with me. All too often I surround myself with the wrong people, hoping to make myself feel better, when the answer to my loneliness and self-loathing is God all along (Boa, 2001).

Implications for My Leadership

The key lessons from Barton’s work that I believe will have a positive impact upon my role as a leader are, first, that I must strive to be in the soul: this means not allowing life to distract me from the time God wants me to set aside just for Him. Second, a leader should exude stability and consistency and as Barton (2018) shows, this means having a spiritual rhythm that is ingrained in one’s daily life. Making sure that prayer is central to this rhythm is one way to go about setting the rhythm in place, but another way is to be habitual about the positive routine of giving thanks to God for the daily bread He sends us. Third, honesty is the best policy—and a leader who is not honest with himself is not going to be able to be honest with others either. Therefore, even if it means facing the ugly truth about myself I need to recognize my own faults and take steps to address them. Thus, instead of clinging to people who satisfy my personal vanity, I should be content in the loneliness that comes with leadership and recognize that the best companion in this journey is God, Who is always there waiting for me to see exactly that. To address the main issues that concern me, I aim to establish a routine that is rooted in the spirit so that I am not constantly rushing about from one thing to the next. That way, I can give focus to the things of God and take satisfaction in knowing that in doing so I am where God wants me to be. Establishing a spiritual rhythm is what is missing in my life, and making a habit of prayer in the morning, afternoon and night is the best way to orient myself towards the will of God (Barton, 2018; Houghton, Neck & Krishnakumar, 2016).

Conclusion

Being a leader means putting away the things of a child and putting on the new man that is Christ. Committing myself to the rhythm of God’s grace is the manful aspect of spiritual leadership that I aim to pursue. The path towards this goal will focus on striving to be in the soul, establishing a sense of consistency and continuity by embracing the spiritual rhythms of life and giving thanks to God routinely and habitually; and recognizing that as a leader I must walk with God and not seek out the companionship of those who are not of the same spirit.