Personal Circumstances

Personal Circumstances Even the perfect adolescence would be difficult -- it's hard to imagine young life today, in even the kindest of families, without struggles about identity, without fights about determining what one's future vocation might be, and simply arguing with one's parents. These are all typical pursuits of the typical adolescent, to say nothing of self-imposed and socially imposed academic pressures, and the pressures of preparing one's resume for college. And my adolescence was far from perfect or typical.

Still, success in school has always been of great importance to me. I have always desired to become an art major, and eventually pursue a career in architecture. I have always wished to become a successful professional, and to learn more about the study of beauty and self-expression through the medium of art. I have always been aware that the only way for me to enlarge my personal interests in an intensely intellectual and academic field would be to enter college in order to pursue these subjects of study.

The only way for me to realize my ultimate professional dream of becoming an architect would be to attain a master's degree in that field. Thus, no matter where I was and what my circumstances, I applied myself diligently in school. But, as the phase goes, due to circumstances beyond my control, my adolescence was far from ideal in fostering my interests, aptitudes, or even alas, my emotional stability. Still, I have tried to persevere even though my family situation was, to put it mildly, quite dysfunctional.

Although this is a popular phrase to throw around in today's self-help happy and Oprah-oriented media discourse, "my family is dysfunctional," let me explain what I mean by dysfunction, in my terms. My father is physically abusive and thus my family could not function to nurture me, to support me, or to foster my goals as a human being, struggling to find her place in the world.

As a result of my father's abuse, I had to move from Half Moon Bay at the end of my sophomore high school year to Kansas State. In Kansas, I had to live in a foster home. Although I am happy that the people whom I stayed with were able to extend their hospitality and generosity and give me food and shelter, a foster home is not a true home and family.

Every moment I was away from the state, I desired to return to my beloved California with a deep and burning need, no matter how awful the circumstances I had left behind. To do so, I decided to file a restraining order upon my father. Only one thing, one person stopped me -- my mother begged me not to. All through the turmoil of my early years, my cumulative GPA was 3.8 in Half Moon Bay High School.

Still, I didn't get a chance to finish and graduate from a California High School, as I wished to. I do not regret complying with my mother's wishes regarding the restraining order, but I do wish my circumstances, and indeed her life circumstances and the circumstances she created for her family could have been different for both of us, for both of our sakes. Now I am back, living in California. Despite all of.