It turns out Matthew's needs were "extensive" because he had ADHD, neurological and visual problems. Parents need support in this situations; indeed, Richard Barth (University of North Carolina researcher) states that in surveys of adoptive parents "school is named as a common family stressor." Hence parents should get in touch with the Learning Disabilities Association of America to find out how they can get help for their child. Or go to www.wrightslaw.com. Adoptive children who suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) do indeed have special needs -- they have complex medical needs, including "a pattern of dysmorphic facial features," dental anomalies, possible cardiac defects and vision and hearing problems as well, according to the Children's House International Adoptions group (CHIA). These children will have very serious social and educational needs because they "tend to be curious" sexually as adolescents and have little understanding of "socially appropriate sexual behavior." They may need to be placed in "special education classes" in elementary school, in a small classroom with "a great deal of individual attention" (CHIA).

Ellen Singer and Marilyn Schoettle write that although most teachers are receptive to students with special needs, many educators "do not normally receive training to prepare them to talk about adoption" and so they often say nothing along those lines to the adoptive child. That adoptive child may see silence from the teacher as "disapproval or shame," Singer explains. Thus it is important for parents to have "open, informative communication" with teachers, and when it is appropriate, parents can even "empower children and teens to educate their peers and teachers themselves" about adoption and about their own lives and families. Educators can become more knowledgeable about adoption by going into the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse at www.calib.com/naic (or by calling [HIDDEN] ).

The parents of adoptive children with special needs certainly need social connections to help them care for and manage their adopted child, and "support their parenting," according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway. For parents who broaden their social network in order...

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