Williams A Case Study

The Williams: A Case Study

Family Members:

Allan Williams: Father / Husband, 40 years old

Sheila Williams: Mother / Wife, 35 years old

James Williams: Son, 8 years old

Jane Williams: Daughter, 3 years old

Mr. Williams is a Mexican migrant who has settled in the United States for more than 11 years. He shifted to the U.S to live the American dream and has worked hard towards having a good life for himself and his family. Williams is a working-class household who lived in Arizona for the past 8 years but recently shifted to California.

Sheila

In recent months, Sheila has been exceedingly unhappy with her marriage. She complains that Allan works too much and barely has any time for their intimate relationships. Sheila asserts that Allan has not taken him out for a long time, and three weeks ago, he even forgot that it was her birthday. Sheila has tried to be as romantic as much as possible, but Allan constantly says he is either busy or tired and needs to rest. She has tried to talk to Allan, but things have not changed. She feels as though her marriage is on the verge of ending, and she does not know what to do.

The past few months, I have been living with someone else who is not my husband. He does not care about me anymore and does not cater to my emotional and physical needs. Once he gets home, all he wants is a beer, watch television, and sleep. I have tried to beseech him to go out on dates, but he says he is tired. The more I urge him to pay attention to our relationship, the more he becomes angry. The kids have seen and heard us fighting in recent weeks. At this point, I just want to pack, take my kids, and leave.

Of late, Sheila has been stepping out to meet with Arnold, a guy that she met at the supermarket. Arnold has been willing to take her on dates and spend time with her. Sheila thinks its innocent, but Arnold’s objective is to sleep with her and prompt her to abandon her marriage. With Allan continuing to drift apart, Sheila likes Arnold even more and constantly thinks about him since they kissed.

Allan

Allan is a hardworking man whose desire is ensuring that the family is catered for in terms of the basic needs. His difficult childhood pushes him to constantly work harder to ensure that their household has food on the table. Since moving from Arizona to California and having a second child, the standard of living and expenses have gone up substantially higher. Consequently, Allan has been working all the time and has taken up two jobs. He loves his family and adores them and believes that everything is fine.

My family means the world to me. My wife, Sheila, is the best wife and mother. My children are adorable. Akin to any other family out there, we do face our own challenges and have ups and downs, but so far, we have been able to pull through. The only issue that I have with Sheila is that she does not have enough. I work so hard to constantly provide, and I end up getting tired, but when I get home, she is constantly complaining. In recent weeks, she has been coming home late and leaving the children with a sitter. Perhaps she needs some alone time. James and Jane are complaining that their mother is leaving them alone, but I constantly assure them that, at times, adults need their alone time.

Allan makes the argument that his wife is constantly bugging him for shopping and dinners and date nights, yet such a lifestyle is hard to maintain. She does not understand that he is doing the best that he can. He is happy with his marriage and believes that his wife should know that he does all that he can.

James and Jane

James and Jane are unhappy with their current family situation. The kids have recently noticed that both of their parents are arguing, and last week, they shouted at each other for over half an hour. In the past they used to have family dinners but nowadays, since their mum and dad get home really late, they eat hot pockets in their room. James recently saw his mother being dropped home by another man, and he feels that she is being rude and is cheating on his dad. He is even more upset with her because Jane constantly asks about her, and she is too busy for them. James understands that his father is constantly at work, and although it is tough, he has been trying to get the things they need, such as a Playstation.

Our family feels detached and broken. Mom and dad are never around, and we spend most of the time with the sitter. Jane constantly asks about mom, but she says she is really busy of late. However, I saw her being dropped off by another man last week, and they were being cozy. I tried to tell dad, but he said that mom needed some alone time from the pressures of adulthood. I am upset with my mom because my dad works very hard to provide. The only fun part of my days is hooking up with my friends and sneaking into other houses in the neighborhood when they are not at home. Last week I stole a phone, and nobody knew about it.

James feels that they are going to break up and would prefer living with his father. Jane just wants to spend more family time with her parents and brother.

Counseling Suggestions

In my opinion, Williams has a lot of issues that necessitate fixing as soon as possible. Several existent issues in the family include infidelity, depression, and behavioral issues. There are numerous causes of unfaithfulness in marriages, and numerous of them can be associated with Sheila in her marriage. Cheating in marriage can be directly instigated by one partner neglecting the other, significant lack of happiness in the marriage, lack of intimacy and attention, and also lack of appreciation. One of the main ways of guaranteeing happiness in a relationship is acknowledging, paying attention to, and appreciating your spouse. However, within the Williams household, this has not been the case. Allan has been exceedingly busy at work and has neglected Sheila by failing to have dinners with her wife, being intimate with her, and, most of all, forgetting her birthday.

According to Treas, Scott, and Richards (2017), infidelity has been associated with diminished marital satisfaction. Not only does infidelity tend to be in line with decreases in satisfaction in marriage, but it also goes further ahead to diminish happiness within the marriage. Moreover, a lack of feeling treasured and adored usually results in cheating. When a spouse has the feeling of rejection, lack of appreciation, and hurt, more often than not, stepping out on the marriage appears as an ideal way of obtaining the attention that they yearn for (Emery, 2013). When women feel unappreciated and unworthy, they usually have low self-esteem and easily get involved in extramarital affairs because they feel appreciated there, and this boosts their self-esteem levels (Steele and Price, 2007). Taking this into consideration, it is perceptible that for several months now, Sheila has been feeling unacknowledged and neglected by her husband, and Arnold has been increasing her self-esteem.

Allan Williams has been fully immersed in his job in the endeavor of providing for his family, and this has resulted in becoming a neglectful husband to Sheila and an absentee dad to James and Jane. Tausig (2013) indicates that even though work is a fundamental activity and a key source of identity for several adults, it is also usually a source of adversity, stress, and concern. Taking this into consideration, the work has a substantially adverse impact on the psychological and emotional well-being of an individual. These stressors result in the harming of families that are dependent on the spouse who is constantly working. This is the prevailing problem that Allan faces with his family. Some of the consequences of this are not only physical strain on the individual but also the emotional and psychological strain that it places on the family.

James and Jane Williams have been facing a hard time dealing with the strenuous relationship of their parents. With Jane being so young, she fails to comprehend why they are constantly with the baby sitters and why their parents are never home. On the other hand, James’ knowledge of his mother’s unfaithfulness has pushed him to become upset, and the fact that his dad overlooks it makes him angrier. His involvement in the bad company of sneaking into other people’s houses is a direct result of the neglect faced by parents.

The best treatment option for Sheila would be to cease partaking in her extramarital affairs with Arnold. Furthermore, Sheila needs to focus on taking care of her children and family and also suggesting the couple’s therapy for both her and Allan. Significantly, therapy will enable Sheila to convey to Allan precisely why she is upset and unhappy with her marriage and the health measures that she could undertake to fix it. At the same time, Allan will be able to extensively explain to his wife why he works very long hours and why he is constantly tired. Sheila and Allan both need couple’s therapy to aid them in comprehending what is making their marriage fall apart and how they can rectify it. The best solution for Allan Williams is scaling back. This takes into account intentionally reducing his work hours and dedications to spend more time with his family and also being able to provide a buffer between work life and family life. This scaling back is recommended, especially for couples such as Allan and Sheila, who have young children at home, and the family demand is mostly intense. As a husband, Allan should make a mostly conscious decision to be more engaged in the family (Newman and Grauerholz, 2002).