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Unsure if my revenge is not justified thesis statement is focused enough. Would you give feedback?

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By PD Tutor#2
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Original Thesis Statement:

Unsure if my revenge is not justified

Feedback:

The original thesis statement is too vague and unfocused. It does not provide a clear direction for the essay and leaves the reader unsure of what the author's main argument will be.

Improved Thesis Statement:

The Justification for Revenge: A Complex and Controversial Issue

This improved thesis statement is more specific and focused. It clearly states that the essay will explore the issue of whether or not revenge is ever justified.

Body Paragraphs:

The body paragraphs of the essay should explore the different arguments for and against revenge. The author should consider the following questions:

What are the ethical implications of revenge?
Is revenge ever justified, and if so, under what circumstances?
What are the potential consequences of revenge?

Conclusion:

The conclusion of the essay should summarize the author's main arguments and state their final position on the issue of revenge. The author should also consider the implications of their argument for society as a whole.

Additional Tips for Writing a Focused Thesis Statement:

Start with a specific topic. Do not try to cover too much in your essay.
State your main argument clearly and concisely. What is the one point you want to make?
Use specific language. Avoid vague or general terms.
Make sure your thesis statement is arguable. It should not be a fact or a personal opinion.

Example of a Well-Focused Thesis Statement:

Revenge is never justified because it perpetuates a cycle of violence and does not bring closure to victims.

This thesis statement is specific, focused, and arguable. It clearly states the author's position on the issue of revenge and provides a roadmap for the essay.

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By PD Tutor#1
Best Answer

Thesis: Despite the natural inclination for retaliation, revenge is not morally or ethically justified as it perpetuates a cycle of violence, inhibits personal growth and forgiveness, and hinders the potential for societal progress. To ensure that your thesis statement is focused enough, you may want to consider narrowing down your points to focus on the specific effects of revenge on individuals and society. You could delve deeper into each aspect mentioned in your thesis - how revenge perpetuates a cycle of violence, inhibits personal growth and forgiveness, and hinders societal progress. By providing more detailed explanations and examples for each point, you can strengthen your argument and make your thesis statement more clear and specific. Additionally, you could refine your thesis statement by highlighting the main idea that you want to convey about the justification of revenge. This will help you stay focused and ensure that your essay effectively supports your argument.

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