Hookup Culture and Intimacy Trends Among College Students

Introduction: Modern Socialization and Shifting Sexual Norms

Much of modern culture surrounds new forms of socialization. We now utilize text, email, and social networks more than face-to-face or even voice conversation. Humans have always been driven by their biological desires, however, and as cultural changes evolve, so does the manner in which individuals fulfill their needs for companionship, love, and lust. According to the research, modern culture makes a strong delineation between the psychological forms of intimacy and the physical needs of sexual activity. In fact, between 21 and 32 percent of college students surveyed had not been on a single date since starting college — a dramatic change over the past five decades, spanning the conservative 1950s, the "free love" culture of the 1960s, and the pre-AIDS era of casual sex.

Defining Hookup Culture: From Dating to NSA Encounters

Today, there is a clear distinction among young people between "hanging out" (friends), "hooking up" (sexual partners), and "dating" (a relationship). Even within these categories there is variation. Some arrangements are described as FWB (Friends with Benefits), implying friendship and sexual activity but nothing serious or long-term. Others are the more casual "booty call" or "hook up," primarily focused on sexual activity with no expectation of a relationship (Skolnick, 1999, p. 144). One does not even need to particularly like a hookup partner — only to be physically attracted to them — and then walk away, as students say, NSA (no strings attached).

Reasons Behind the Rise of Casual Sex

Research identifies several reasons for this trend. Depending on the demographic profile of the individual, one or more of these factors may carry greater weight. The first and most obvious is that people feel the need to have sex without the encumbrance of the time and emotional investment a relationship requires. Women are far more open about their sexual needs now, and although a double standard persists — making it more socially "permissible" for young men to have a strong libido — women also actively pursue sexual partners (Ibid., p. 150).

Second, there is the electronic and social availability of sexual partners. Whatever one's sexual desire, it can usually be fulfilled through online platforms that connect like-minded individuals in a non-judgmental environment for a casual encounter. Many report that, given their busy schedules involving work, school, and career, it is simply easier to go online, find a partner, and avoid extended emotional entanglements (Anonymous Sex, 1999).

Conclusion: Where Is Hookup Culture Heading?

Despite nearly 50 years of women's liberation, sex education, greater openness regarding sexual activity, and more information available to young people, a clear sexual double standard persists. Most college students surveyed reported that college men were far more focused on satisfying their own needs while neglecting their female partners. Many men enjoy receiving oral sex but refuse to reciprocate. Even within the hookup context, men are twice as likely to achieve orgasm as women. Many hookup encounters involve fellatio but not cunnilingus — in fewer than 50 percent of cases is equitable sexual behavior observed (Skolnick, 1999, p. 147).

The question remains: how is this trend evolving? Perhaps our social fabric still holds to the implicit belief — popularized by President Clinton's public statements — that oral sex does not constitute "real" sex or imply infidelity. Perhaps it reflects a philosophy rooted in timing and levels of intimacy. However, the same research shows that women are becoming more vocal and assertive about their own sexual needs. In combination with broader trends toward sexual experimentation — including varied activities and increased openness to bisexuality — it appears that sex is moving toward a "no big deal" phase, almost as if it were as casual as asking someone for coffee. Yet, in many men's minds, certain sexual acts remain reserved for a committed life partner, while others are treated as nothing more than recreation (Paul, McManus, and Hayes, 2000).