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Therapeutic Communication
To establish the therapeutic alliance with clients, one must have empathy, warmth and genuineness as France and Weikel point out. How does one do this? Petersen (2015) states that it starts with listening, which is a way of providing safety, to understand, and to clarify what the client is communicating in therapy (p. 107). Warmth is that characteristic that makes a person feel safe and secure and allows the person to feel that he can open up in therapy. Empathy is the ability to understand and it is demonstrated by hearing, confirming, and affirming without judgment. Genuineness is the ability to come across as real, truthful, transparent, and trustworthy. One who seeks to build a therapeutic alliance must be able to foster trust with the client by being genuine and demonstrating personal accountability. Nothing fosters trust in a relationship like a demonstration of accountability and the maintenance of a code of ethics. When a client sees that a therapist is serious about his job, is professional in demeanor, and holds himself to a high standard the client can believe that the therapist is genuinely concerned about the clients best interests.
As Stewart (2012) points out, you cant function very well as a mediator until you finally understand each persons point of view, and empathetic listening can help you build this understanding (p. 194). Empathetic listening is really at the core of therapeutic communication. It may not seem like it at first because it is so passive in appearance, and one tends to think of communication as active. However, empathetic listening is really an activity that one must engage in: it requires ones attention, ones commitment to understanding, and the ability to follow along and hear what the other person is saying without judging that person or trying do anything other than put yourself in that persons shoes. Empathetic listening is, in other words, not very easy! A person must give all of himself to be an empathetic listener, holding nothing...…but also in the ability to make the other person feel comfortable. So I try to show through my actions and words that I understand by affirming what another person has said to me. I repeat what the person has said in a tone of voice that is non-judgmental. The tone must not be flat, because flatness does not convey interest or vitality. No one wants to open up oneself to another who is flat and seemingly bored by what one has to say. That is why I try to monitor my tones.
Communication is important to developing a therapeutic alliance; so listening is a two-way street that I try to navigate carefully. I receive what is coming down the street towards me from the other person, and in return I try to signal that I have received the message and am waiting for the other person to go on. I also try to show that I am not just only waiting but really want to hear more. This helps…
References
Petersen, J. (2015). Why don’t we listen better? Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.
Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
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