The single parent living on campus is in a unique position unlike any other student in college today. The single parent, typically a young female, is determined and motivated to succeed in college. Even if her grades are not the best (how could they be with her time divided between caring for herself, studying, going to class, and caring for her baby?), but she plans to stick with it because she sees obtaining her degree as her only way out for herself and for her baby. Getting her credentials will allow her to get a respectable job with a respectable salary. Then she will be able to think about things like daycare and housing. At the moment, however, she relies on the assistance of friends from class, individual students who are willing to lend a helping hand and give her the assistance she requires so that she can get to class knowing the baby is in good hands for a few hours.
There is an air of pride about the single parent living on campus, and it is understandable. She is all alone—the father is not in the picture, nor does she want him to be. She has taken on a big burden by bringing a child up all on her own while simultaneously attempting to better her lot in life by pursuing her degree. She is proud because she has found ways to make it all work, when others have not. If she meets another young, pregnant woman in the grocery store, she asks her what her plans are. The other young pregnant soon-to-be-mother has none: she is returning home to live with her parents; she does not even know there is housing available for single parents on campus. Had she known she might have applied for it. But now her course is set—she is going home to have the baby. She will not be back for school. The single parent living on campus soldiers on. She considers herself astute for realizing these services exist and she is grateful for them—so much so that she views it as her duty to pay back into the system later on so that others like her can be helped, just as she was by the system that gave her a helping hand when she needed it.
The unacknowledged air of entitlement is barely breathed, however. The single parent living on campus assumes neither a tragic air nor a groveling one. She assumes a dignified posture: she knows hardship and knows what it means to be dependent upon others. When another woman who is married takes her to task or makes her feel small for being a single parent with no husband, she becomes resentful. She does not need a man to provide for her—not when the college and other students are willing to fill that gap. There is a hint of shame in the reactionary demeanor of the single parent living on campus: to be confronted with one’s shortcomings or failings is not pleasant, and one does not like to be faced with one’s faults—not by strangers. At the same time, there is the pride that the single...
The single parent living on campus smiles to herself to think about these people, who think they are so much smarter and so much greater than she. They will end up paying thousands of dollars for their home birth, while she, the single parent, had all her hospital bills compensated by the state. She did not pay a dime. She was taken care of. The state has been the surrogate father to her. This gives her a flicker of warmth inside her: people think she is alone, but she is not really alone. The government has a hand out for her to take.
At the same time, the government will want its due in short order. When the single parent living on campus graduates with her credentials and begins the...…as a procreative norm. The morality of sex without the possibility of procreation is not challenged in popular culture, and the pressures of raising a child (especially by oneself) are so great that many prefer not to deal with it: so it is not surprising that child free living should be on the rise. The pros of living child free, of course, are that people without children can enjoy their autonomy and independence without having to engage in the responsibilities of the traditional family. They do not have to rely on hand outs or assistance from people they just met. They can “have a life,” go on vacations, have fun, enjoy themselves and what time they have on this planet. The mother or father or single parent living on campus cannot partake of these things so readily or so easily. And of course there are cons of living child free and of so many young people today choosing to be child free: the biggest con is that without children, society will not grow and the age of the population will increase, meaning there will be more old people than young people in the future, and fewer people overall to pay into the system that people like the single parent living on campus depend upon. A child free now means a crumbling future for society later.
In this light, the single parent living on campus can take pride in what she is doing: she is doing what others are not. She is making the sacrifice needed to bring a new life into the world, and she is taking the steps to do everything she can to make sure that life is nurtured and supported. She accepts the support from others since there is no father in the picture to provide it. She is thankful and grateful and plans to pay it forward in the future. For now, she is doing her part to make sure that there is a future—not just for herself and her child, but for all mankind as well.
Works Cited
Gross, Jacob PK, et al.…
