Drug Use the Courage to

Drug Use The Courage to Change Drug abuse can ruin a person from the inside out. In the process, a person may lose friends and family as they neglect, abuse, or ruin relationships with those that they love. Those who start to use drugs and alcohol while they are young, such as when they are in college, risk ruining opportunities and creating patterns that may haunt them for the rest of their lives.

For people who have spiraled into a cycle of drug-abuse behavior, treatment and recovery offer an opportunity to start fresh. However, relationships and lifestyle choices are not easily changed once things have become bad. Recovery is difficult and is not always successful. However, if someone with a drug or alcohol abuse problem has the courage and desire to change, they can make a difference for themselves and everyone they love. When a person uses drugs they may neglect or hurt the ones that they love.

Jared is a husband and father, and works a full time job. He used to drink only occasionally when he was out with friends, but lately he goes right from work to the bar. His young child does not see him much, and his wife Samantha is struggling to parent them without much support. She loves Jared but she is becoming resentful. Also, she is having problems paying some of the bills since Jared spends a lot of money at the bar. Their marriage is suffering. Their child is suffering.

Worst of all, Jared is not happy with himself or his life. He feels guilty, but the guilt only makes him want to drink more. Something must change or Jared's family will fall apart. Alcohol abuse like that in Jared's situation happens in many families. Jared, like so many people, started drinking and even occasionally smoked pot while he was hanging out with friends in college. It was the common behavior for college students and it still is.

He remembers having a lot of fun, and it was easier when he was younger. No one expected much of him. He would go to classes most of the time, but no one noticed when he skipped classes here and there. His classes were not that difficult for the most part so he was always able to squeak by and get passing grades. Looking back, Jared sort of wishes that someone had checked in with him more often.

While he was in college his parents called on the weekends but they did not seem that concerned about what he was up to. They had never been very close, and Jared knew that his parents loved him but he did not call them when things were bad. In fact, he pretty much just called them when he needed money or when he was coming home for the holidays.

He talked to his older brother once in a while but his older brother was living in Los Angeles and was hanging out with a strange group of artists who were using a lot of acid. Strangely enough, Jared thought his brother had a drug problem and felt bad for him. At the same time, Jared was himself becoming dependent on alcohol and was starting to feel like he needed to get high on the weekends to get over a long week at school.

Back in the present, Jared hears from his parents that his brother is doing really well. After drug treatment in Los Angeles, his brother is working at a great job in advertising. Jared still thinks it is strange that his brother is an "addict." Addicts are strung out and look like they never eat, and he does not picture his brother like that. His brother was always really cool to hang out with and was really smart.

Addicts are not smart -- they use drugs until they kill themselves, and Jared's brother would never do that. No one smart gets addicted. In his Junior year of college, Jared met Samantha at an off-campus party. They got pretty drunk together and made out. Every weekend they hung out and partied, drinking a lot and getting high sometimes. Everyone was really cool, and no one was hung up on their grades or their plans after college. Then, Samantha got pregnant.

Jared did "the right thing" and married Samantha, (barely) graduating with his business degree and taking the first job he could get, even though he did not want it. Two years later, they are married and Samantha does not drink or get high. She got "clean" while she was pregnant and has not had the time to go out with friends. Since Samantha did not want to party anymore, Jared started going out with his guy friends alone.

At the bar, the guys talked about how much working sucked, how they hated having to pay bills, how there was never any time to do the cool things they wanted to do. Slowly, Jared's friends from college moved away or got married. Suddenly, he was alone in the bar. Today, Jared got a call from his mother. She tells him that she and Samantha have talked and they think that he has a problem with alcohol abuse.

Jared gets angry when his mother says that she has "seen this behavior before" in Jared's brother. He cannot think of himself as an alcoholic. He wants to believe that he is in control and can stop when he wants to. But deep inside he knows his mother is right. And he recognizes that if he does not change he will lose everything. Recovery for someone like Jared is possible because Jared has begun to realize that he has a problem. He wants to change.

The problem is that many addicts and alcoholics do not want to change. If they do not have a wife or family who are close to them and can recognize problems, they may not see any reason why they should stop their drug abuse. Like Jared, they think that addicts are people who cannot control themselves. Like most people, they believe that they are in complete control of their actions and that they can stop at any time. They do not stop, they tell themselves, because they don't want to.

Sadly, many people decide to seek help after bad things happen. Sandra stopped getting high after she accidentally dropped her baby. Her baby was okay, but the fear that the incident inspired in her helped her wake up to her problem. Jim's wife left him and took the children, who he now rarely sees. Benjamin attends Alcoholics Anonymous by court order after he was released from prison. There, he served a sentence for drinking under the influence and inadvertently causing the death of a driver in another car.

Stories like these may be common in Alcoholics Anonymous, where people agree that they have to admit to their problem in order to improve their lives. After admitting to their problem, most addicts and alcoholics also need support to continue on the path to recovery. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer a non-judgmental environment where people can share things that they worry about, things they feel guilty about, and things that they are struggling with. Some people may find additional support in church or religious groups.

Ideally, a person who is trying to recover from drug and alcohol abuse would also have the support of their friends and families. Yet, many people ruined those relationships when they were using. Marriages and friendships can be ruined by the cycles of behavior involved with abuse. It takes a lot of courage for anyone to seek help with an addiction problem. It takes even more courage to seek out help when you have lost everything and everyone you love.

When someone musters the courage to seek treatment, they still have many hard things to go through. People do not always respond well to someone being in treatment. For example, someone who drinks a lot with friends may face opposition when he tries to seek help. The friends that he usually drinks with may think that his addiction reflects on them. They may see his admitting to having a problem as an affront to their own drug or alcohol problem.

If they are not ready to face their own issues they will likely respond to their friend's treatment poorly. For the person seeking help, this can be horrible, since they may lose friends when they need them most. Other people in a recovering addict's life may not offer the support they need either, by being negative or angry. For example, someone who has experienced the bad behavior cycles, such as lying or stealing, may not believe that a person will really improve. Other people, including employers, may not understand.