Why your life feels unfulfilling and practical solutions

Ethics and Morality

Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About it by Alan H. Cohen: A Book Report

There's nothing cryptic about this popular 2002 motivational book from bestselling-author and self-help guru Alan H. Cohen, either in it's title or within the confines of its tight just-under 200 pages.

Readers may have been surprised by the title's "strong" wording - Cohen's choice to use "Suck"- was not without controversy when it was first published six years ago. Cohen, for his part, seems to be saying, right in the title of the book, just what this book is. And careful consideration can only reveal the title to be blunt and straightforward, which is exactly how he presents the book. He told CNN at the book's release that "suck" is no longer a bad word and is mean to describe something "that sucks it zaps your energy and you feel worse after you've done it and you feel like you're less than you were."

This is a no-nonsense, frank, albeit directive guide. Simply put, it's a guide to getting happy. Another issue some had with the title --Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About it - was that Cohen assumes the reader's life sucks, and admitting that your life is less than perfect, acknowledging that you might benefit from the (seeming to some) ethereal world of self-help, may be too self-revelatory for some. But once readers are able to get past whatever emotional response the title garners within them, the book quickly explains why your life might "suck" and is subsequently filled with easy-to-follow edicts.

Cohen's definition of how your "life sucks" include:

You routinely make someone or something more important than you

The life you are living on the outside doesn't match who you are on the inside You say yes when you mean no

You try to fix other people

You've forgotten to enjoy the ride

The majority of people living today will be able to find relevance. But Cohen doesn't give the reader time to brood or feel self-sorry. Instead, he presents 10 chapters with the main emphasis is to "enjoy the life you were meant to live," it's not too late, he says, to change the course of your life. Stop wasting time and energy on people and things that deaden you, and dedicate it to what you love.

Based on what Cohen believes is a definitive poll, he unearthed the following three contributors to what makes life suck: Twenty-five percent said it was work or the boss; 19-percent said family; 11-percent indicated it was aging and the final four-percent credited their sex lives.

The book's first chapter "You Give Your Power Away" basically explains each person is responsible for their own actions, and essentially, their own happiness. The message is simple: don't let other people dictate how you live or feel. "You Waste Your Energy on Things That Suck," a subsequent chapter tackles familiar territory to most - the toxic relationship. Other chapters cover "You Expect it to Suck," "You Say Yes When You Mean No," "You Try to Fix Other People," "You Think You Have to o it All Yourself," "You Keep Trying to Prove Yourself," "You Forget to Enjoy the Ride."

There's a lot of conventional, practical wisdom in Cohen's book and there are, undoubtedly, readers who need to have these very salient points enumerated for them. it's an issue of semantics, but Cohen is clearly saying, take charge of your own life, have a positive attitude, don't be superficial, don't do anything unhealthy, have only yourself to answer to, be clear and say what you mean, learn to delegate when it's essential, realize you cannot control another person, take serious time for yourself, doing what you love, and finally, don't miss out on the many good things that are invariable right before you.

It may very well be true, that a truly great self-help book just reminds of what we already know, deep down, to be right. Cohen doesn't try to mask his matter-of-fact "rules to live by" in new-age speak or create his own version of the universe of life. That is one of the best elements to this book - there is no pretense. It is not murky, or cloudy, it is clear as the proverbial bell.

The kind of person who will read this book, and truly benefit from it, is the reader who is willing to be self-aware, not editorialize while reading it, and make a sincere effort to embrace what is already apparent, even if not immediately obvious.

Cohen's observations tackle all the areas of life: relationships, money, work, spirituality, creativity, personal empowerment, sex, etc.