To counsel families effectively and ethically, counselors must honestly acknowledge their own biases and beliefs. In addition to honest self-reflection, counselors also benefit from learning as much as possible about diverse cultures and subcultures. As Chapter 5 in the text points out, the counselor’s self-examination needs to occur on an emotional as...
To counsel families effectively and ethically, counselors must honestly acknowledge their own biases and beliefs. In addition to honest self-reflection, counselors also benefit from learning as much as possible about diverse cultures and subcultures. As Chapter 5 in the text points out, the counselor’s self-examination needs to occur on an emotional as well as an intellectual level in order to provide authentic communications (p. 134). One of the most important ways a counselor can overcome assumptions, biases, and beliefs is to develop compassion, sensitivity, and active listening skills. Being comfortable with different family structures and life cycles, a counselor can provide an earnest assessment of the family’s presenting problems and therapeutic goals.
One case study illustrated in Chapter 5 addresses the unique issues facing same-sex couples. Although the text fails to distinguish between the different issues facing gay and lesbian same-sex couples, the author nevertheless offers a case study that can be used to provide an example of how a therapist might first gather information about the family and then proceed to analyze the family life cycle. A family therapist can use different approaches or styles when working with the same-sex couple profiled in the case study. The most common approaches used in family therapy, according to the text, include active, directive, collaborative, strategic, and interpretive methods (p. 135). For this case study, the best approach would be strategic, in order to provide a solution-focused approach to family counseling. Instead of focusing on the problems and their causes, which could lead to unnecessary blaming and being stuck in negative cognitive and emotional habits, the counselor would instead shift each member of the family’s attention on goals. A solution-oriented approach is strategic in this case, helping to reveal specific ways each member of the family can contend with their own personal blocks before confronting the issues they are presenting to the therapist.
Research substantiates the text, by showing that family therapists often lack the necessary openness to working with same sex couples. For example, Grove & Blasby (2009) found that counselors tended to be overly conciliatory and “overly affirmative,” as a means of overcompensating for what could be lingering prejudices (p. 257). Being overly affirmative means the counselor has developed a considerable degree of sensitivity to diversity, but has yet to cognitively and emotionally integrate their compassion into competent practice. Therefore, the two strategies I would recommend when working with the couple depicted in the case study would first be to understand that at the parenting part of the life cycle, the roles of each parent will be changing dramatically. Role changes lead to shifts in self-image, identity, and perception of the other partner. Dealing with role shifts during this critical stage of the family life cycle will involve some techniques and strategies common to all families, regardless of their backgrounds. Yet because we are working with a same-sex couple, the gender roles are perceived differently. Gender roles may have been internalized from each person’s experience with their own family of origin.
A second strategy would be to apply what Grove & Blasby (2009) suggest, which is for the counselor to actively work on self-awareness during the intervention. If there are signs of excessive affirmation that precludes honesty in the therapeutic relationship, the counselor would need to consult with a colleague to deepen self awareness. Self-awareness is also a strategy strongly recommended in Chapter 5 (p. 137). I would also need to take into account my own cultural background, perhaps sharing this with the clients at some point to purposely open the gateway to an honest and frank discussion about prejudices and stereotypes about same-sex couples. Finally, as the text suggests, the counselor should also recognize the primacy of contextual variables. Prejudice, and fear of being stigmatized as same-sex parents, may be a lot more significant to their current crisis than the counselor had previously been willing to acknowledge.
References
Chapter 5
Grove, J. & Blasby, S. (2009). The therapeutic encounter in same-sex couple counselling. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research 9(4): 257-265.
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