¶ … high school, a friend of mine, who considered himself a very devout Christian, asked me to attend church with him. At the time, I was feeling like an outsider, and I thought that church might give me an opportunity to belong in a group. At first, the members of the church welcomed me with open arms. I gladly participated in their religious ceremonies and proclaimed myself a member of that religion. However, the shine soon began to fade from my newfound religion. Although I had found the group tolerant and open towards me, I began to understand that they were hostile towards other people and groups. Even while teaching me Jesus' message of tolerance and love, they preached hatred and judgment towards some groups of people.

While I no longer consider myself a member of that religious group, I do believe that experience was essential to the development of my spirituality. It helped me understand that my spirituality is about a personal relationship with God, not conformity with standards or moors established by a group of people. Since that time, I have incorporated aspects of other religions into my spiritual life, when I have found them to be appropriate ways of expressing my personal relationship with God. Otherwise, I have been hesitant to align myself with any one religious group, because I have not found one group that truly understands my personal relationship with God.

Because I do view spirituality and religion as distinct entities, I do find it possible for one to be a member of a religion and objective about that religion. To me, religion is the ceremony and the professed set of beliefs. I have met very few members of any religion that follow that religion completely or blindly accept its tenets. However, I do not believe that any person can be completely objective about their own spiritual beliefs. My relationship with God is a personal one, and I could not be objective about it, just as I am not able to be objective about the other personal relationships in my life.