Lac's journey from Vietnamese gang membership to cultural identity

¶ … Lac talks about his journey into what he calls the "thug life." He is more into the Vietnamese gang headed by Dragon Head. They drink a lot, curse all the time, and go into somebody's house to rob. They steal money, jewelry, and whatever of value they can find in the house. It turns out that the owner of the house is the father of Lac's classmate. Although Lac joined the robbing, he feels remorse for what he did. He does not want to repeat it but he also wants to stay with the gang. When the Dragon Head asks him for a favor, he conforms. Lac, I think, tells this story to further discuss his inability to find the right place at his youth years. He thought being a member of a gang was cool. He also wanted a group he felt he belonged to as a respectable member. But the activities of that group bothered him. Lac barely escaped from being caught and that also began to bother him. He could not afford being caught because he not only would be detained by police but also incur the wrath of his angry and increasingly abusive father.

Chapter 12

In this chapter, Lac talks about his gangster life. He explains how the Vietnamese gang, although being a group of thugs, stand up for each and every member of the group. Lac wants to take revenge on a classmate of his who has been teasing and bullying him. With the help of Dragon Head and others, Lac beats up that guy very badly. In this chapter, Lac explicitly discusses why the gang attracts him. "The attention and respect I'm getting here from my 'family' is not something that I can just walk away from," he says. "The year I've spent running with the Ratz is the only time in my life that I've felt in control of my surroundings. They shower me in positive regard. They show me that I have a place in this world and am no longer just life's dust" (p. 193). Lac says that he does not like leaving this new "family" to go home and join his real family. Lac comes home ready to receive a savage beating at the hands of his father but miraculously earns Pa's respect with his admission of a wrongdoing and obeying of Pa's orders.

Chapter 13

In this chapter, Lac tells how he is slowly going away from the gangster life and embracing who he is: an ethnic Asian in America. He starts appreciating his culture, the importance of studying, and realizing the problematic nature of being a gang member. The fact that Dragon Head is in jail helps him stay away from the Ratz. A group of his uncles arrive in America and Lac tells more about the challenges Vietnamese experience in adapting to life in America. He participates in nhau party with his uncles. At one point, responding to his Ratz peers who "love being Vietnamese but hate their families," Lac says: "I'm desperately trying to love both. I cherish the nhau because it's a guaranteed night of immersion in who I am. Everything I hear and say during nhau is from the heart; whether bitter or sweet, it is raw and uncut" (p. 199). It is clear that Lac is getting more mature, both physically and mentally. Pa no longer uses violence in his attempts to discipline him. Pa talks to him like a man to a man (as understood by Pa). Lac is also emphasizing the difficulty of belonging to both cultures. He admits he wants to embrace his Vietnamese culture but is bristled at the thought of eating dog's meat that his uncles so anxiously want him to eat.

Epilogue

Here Lac talks about his transition to a life where he appreciates education, love, friendship, and the benefits of a peaceful life. He says that a girl he meets at magnet high school changes his life forever, bringing the goodness in him into life. He ends up marrying the girl eventually and has a daughter. After taking a psychology class at the University of California, Irvine, Lac decided to become a psychologist because that was the subject that helped him understand himself, his father, and others. Although Lac has been hinting at why he had to tell all the stories in his life, he makes it clear in the epilogue. His difficult life made him what he became later. They made him a better person. They helped him understand the life. They made him an amazing writer!